Alternative ways to resolve a conflict


The Science of Mother Love

A growing body of scientific evidence showsacids for human digestion, brain development,
that the way babies are cared for by theirand growth. It also contains many immunities
mothers will determine not only theira baby needs in early life while her own
emotional development, but the biologicalimmune system is maturing. One more instance
development of the child's brain and centralof mother extending her own power, (love) to
nervous system as well. The nature of love,her developing child.LIMBIC REGULATION: The
and how the capacity to love develops, hasLoop of LoveAnother key to understanding how
become the subject of scientific study overa mother's love shapes the emerging
the last decade. New data is emerging from acapacities of her infant is what doctors
multitude of disciplines including neurology,Thomas Lewis, Fari Amini, and Richard Lannon
psychology, biology, ethology, anthropology, authors of A General Theory of Love, call
and neurocardiology. Something scientificlimbic regulation; a mutually synchronizing
disciplines find in common when putting lovehormonal exchange between mother and child
under the microscope is that in addition towhich serves to regulate vital rhythms.Human
shaping the brains of infants, mother's lovephysiology, they say, does not direct all of
acts as a template for love itself and hasits own functions; it is interdependent. It
far reaching effects on her child's abilitymust be steadied by the physical presence of
to love throughout life.To mothers holdinganother to maintain both physical and
their newborn babies it will come as littleemotional health. "Limbic regulation mandates
surprise that the 'decade of the brain' hasinterdependence for social mammals of all
lead science to the wisdom of the mother'sages." says Lewis, "But young mammals are in
heart.According to Alan Schore, assistantspecial need of it's guidance: their neural
clinical professor in the department ofsystems are not only immature but also
psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences at UCLAgrowing and changing. One of the physiologic
School of Medicine, a major conclusion of theprocesses that limbic regulation directs, in
last decade of developmental neuroscienceother words, is the development of the brain
research is that the infant brain is designeditself - and that means attachment determines
to be molded by the environment itthe ultimate nature of a child's mind." A
encounters.1 In other words, babies are bornbaby's physiology is maximally open-loop:
with a certain set of genetics, but they mustwithout limbic regulation, vital rhythms
be activated by early experience andcollapse posing great danger, even death.The
interaction. Schore believes the most crucialregulatory information required by infants
component of these earliest interactions iscan alter hormone levels, cardiovascular
the primary caregiver - the mother. "Thefunction, sleep rhythms, immune function, and
child's first relationship, the one with themore. Lewis, et al contend that , the steady
mother, acts as a template, as it permanentlypiston of mother's heart along with the
molds the individual's capacities to enterregularity of her breathing coordinate the
into all later emotional relationships."ebb and flow of an infant's young internal
Others agree. The first months of an infant'srhythms. They believe sleep to be an
life constitute what is known as a criticalintricate brain rhythm which the neurally
period - a time when events are imprinted inimmature infant must first borrow from
the nervous system."Hugs and kisses duringparents. "Although it sounds outlandish to
these critical periods make those neuronssome American ears, exposure to parents can
grow and connect properly with otherkeep a sleeping baby alive."The Myth of
neurons." Says Dr. Arthur Janov, in his bookIndependenceThis interdependence mandated by
Biology of Love. "You can kiss that brainlimbic regulation is vital during infancy,
into maturity."Hormones, The Language ofbut it's also something we need throughout
LoveIn his beautiful book, Thethe rest of childhood and on into adulthood.
Scientification of Love, French obstetricianIn many ways, humans cannot be stable on
Michel Odent explains how Oxytocin, a hormonetheir own-we require others to survive.
released by the pituitary gland stimulatesRecall that our nervous systems are not
the release of chemical messengers in theself-contained; they link with those of the
heart. Oxytocin, which is essential duringpeople close to us in a silent rhythm that
birth, stimulating contractions, and duringhelps regulate our physiology. This is not a
lactation, stimulating the 'milk ejectionpopular notion in a culture that values
reflex', is also involved in other 'lovingindependence over interdependence. However,
behaviors'. "It is noticeable that whateveras a society that cherishes individual
the facet of love we consider, oxytocin isfreedoms more than any other, we must respect
involved.' Says Odent. "During intercoursethe process whereby autonomy
both partners - female and male - releasedevelops.Children require ongoing neural
oxytocin." One study even shows that thesynchrony from parents in order for their
simple act of sharing a meal with othernatural capacity for self-directedness to
people increases our levels of this 'loveemerge. A mother's love is a continuous
hormone'.2The altruistic oxytocin is part ofshaping force throughout childhood and
a complex hormonal balance. A sudden releaserequires an adequate stage of dependency. The
of Oxytocin creates an urge toward lovingwork of Mary Ainsworth has shown that
which can be directed in different waysmaternal responsiveness and close bodily
depending on the presence of other hormones,contact lead to the unfolding of
which is why there are different types ofself-reliance and self confidence.9 Because
love. For example, with a high level ofour culture does not sufficiently value
prolactin, a well-known mothering hormone,interpersonal relationships, the mother/child
the urge to love is directed towardbond is not recognized and supported as it
babies.While Oxytocin is an altruisticcould be.The ability of a mother to read the
hormone and prolactin a mothering hormone,emotional state of her child is older than
endorphins represent our 'reward system'.our own species, and is essential to our
"Each time we mammals do something thatsurvival, health and happiness. We are
benefits the survival of the species, we arereminded of this each time a hurt child
rewarded by the secretion of thesechanges from sad/scared/angry to peaceful in
morphine-like substances." Says Odent.Duringour loving embrace. Warm human contact
birth there is also an increase in the levelgenerates the internal release of opiates,
of endorphins in the fetus so that in themaking mother's love a powerful anodyne. Even
moments following birth both mother and babyteenagers who sometimes behave as if they are
are under the effects of opiates. The role of'so over' the need for a mother's affection
these hormones is to encourage dependency,must be kept in the limbic loop. Children at
which ensures a strong attachment betweenthis age might be at special risk for falling
mother and infant. In situations of failedthrough the emotional cracks. If they don't
affectional bonding between mother and babyget the emotional regulation that family
there will be a deficiency of the appropriaterelationships are designed to provide, their
hormones, which could leave a childhungry brains may seek ineffectual
susceptible to substance abuse in later lifesubstitutes like drugs and alcohol.Children
as the system continually attempts to rightleft too long under the electronic
itself.3 You can say no to drugs, but not tostewardship of television, video games, etc.,
neurobiology. Human brains have evolved fromare not receiving the steady limbic
earlier mammals. The first portion of ourconnection with a resonant parent. Without
brain that evolved on top of its reptilianthis a child cannot internalize emotional
heritage is the limbic system, the seat ofbalance properly.Our hearts and brains are
emotion. It is this portion of the brain thathardwired for love, and from infancy to old
permits mothers and their babies to bond.age our health and happiness depend on
Mothers and babies are hardwired for thereceiving it.As the research keeps coming in
experience of togetherness. The habits ofand we gain a gradually expanding vision of
breastfeeding, co-sleeping, and babywearinghow mother love shapes our species, we see an
practiced by the majority of! mothers inobvious need to take steps to protect and
non-industrialized cultures, and more andprovide for the mother/child bond. We can
more in our own, facilitate two of the maintake heart knowing that all the while we
components needed for optimal mother/childcarry in our genes over a million years of
bonding: proximity and touch.PROXIMITY,evolutionary refinements equipping us for our
Between Mammals, the Nature of Love is Heartrole as mothers. The answers sought by
to HeartIn many ways it's obvious why ascience beat steadily within our own
helpless newborn would require continuoushearts.Notes 1. Schore, Alan, Effects of a
close proximity to a caregiver; they'reSecure Attachment Relationship on Right Brain
helpless and unable to provide forDevelopment, Affect Regulation, and Infant
themselves. But science is unveiling otherMental Health, 2001 2.Verbalis, J.G., McCann,
less obvious benefits of holding baby close.McHale and Stricker, 'Oxytocin secretion in
Mother/child bonding isn't just for brains,response to cholecystoknin and food:
but is also an affair of the heart. In hisdifferentiation of nausea from satiety.'
1992 work, Evolution's End, Joseph ChiltonScience 1986, 232: 1417-19 3. Prescott, James
Pearce describes the dual role of the heartW., PhD, Breastfeeding: Brain Nutrients in
cell, saying that it not only contracts andBrain Development For Human Love and Peace,
expands rhythmically to pump blood, itFrom Touch The Future Newsletter, Spring 1997
communicates with its fellow cells. "If you4. Prescott, James W., PhD, The Origins of
isolate a cell from the heart, keep it aliveHuman Love and Violence, From Pre and
and examine it through a microscope, you willPerinatal Psychology Journal, Volume 10, #3:
see it lose it's synchronous rhythm and beginSpring 1996 5. Henry Holt, 1997 6. Prescott,
to fibrillate until it dies. If you putJames W. , Ph.D , Rock A Bye Baby, Time Life
another isolated heart cell on thatDocumentary, 1970, Executive Producer: Lothar
microscopic slide it will also fibrillate .Wolff, Scientific Consultant. (last modified
If you move the two cells within a certain2001/04/16). 7. Montagu, Ashley Touching :
proximity, however , they synchronize andThe Human Significance of the Skin, Harper,
beat in unison." Perhaps this is why most1986 8. Prescott, James W., PhD,
mothers instinctively place their babies toBreastfeeding: Brain Nutrients in Brain
their left breast, keep! ing those hearts inDevelopment For Human Love and Peace, From
proximity. The heart produces the hormone,Touch The Future Newsletter, Spring 1997 9.
ANF that dramatically affects every majorAinsworth, M.D.S., "Attachments Across the
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