Five Habits of Highly Effective Conflict Resolvers

Steven Covey had the right idea. There are discreet				powerful. Sometimes people have to hear it 'from the
skills and				horse's
attitudes, habits if you will, that can elevate your				mouth'. Other times, you'll have to be the transmitter
conflict				of good
practice to a new level. This article shares a selection				thoughts and feelings. Pick up those 'gems', those
of				positive
habits and attitudes that can transform a good conflict				messages that flow when employees feel safe and
resolver				heard in
into a highly effective one. By that I mean someone				mediation, and present them to the other employee.
who				Your
facilitates productive, meaningful discussion between				progress will improve.We're all human. You know how
others				easy it is to hold a grudge, or
that results in deeper self-awareness, mutual				assign blame. Sharing gems appropriately can help
understanding and				each employee
workable solutions.I have used the term 'conflict				begin to shift their perceptions of the situation, and
resolver' intentionally to				more
reienforce the idea that human resource professionals				importantly, of each other. To deliver polished gems,
and				try to:- Act soon after hearing the gem- Paraphrase
managers are instrumental in ending disputes,				accurately so the words aren't distorted- Ask the
regardless of				listener if this is new information and if changes her
whether they are also mediators. These conflict				stance- Avoid expecting the employees to visibly
management				demonstrate a 'shift in stance' (it happens internally and
techniques are life skills that are useful in whatever				on their timetable, not ours)4. RECOGNIZE
setting				POWERPower is a dominant factor in mediation that
you find yourself. With these skills, you can create				raises many
environments that are respectful, collaborative and				questions: What is it? Who has it? How to do you
conducive to				balance power?
problem-solving. And, you'll teach your employees to				Assumptions about who is the 'powerful one' are
be				easy to make and
proactive, by modeling successful conflict				sometimes wrong. Skillful conflict resolvers recognize
management behaviors.1. UNDERSTAND THE				power
EMPLOYEE'S NEEDSSince you're the 'go to person' in				dynamics in conflicts and are mindful about how to
your organization, it's				authentically
natural for you to jump right in to handle conflict. When				manage them. You can recognize power by being
an				aware that:- Power is fluid and exchangeable-
employee visits you to discuss a personality conflict,				Employees possess power over the content and their
you				process (think of employees concerns as the water
assess a situation, determine the next steps and				flowing into and being held by the container)-
proceed until				Resolvers possess power over the mediation process
the problem is solved. But is that helpful?When you				(their knowledge, wisdom, experience, and commitment
take charge, the employee is relieved of his or her				form the container)- Your roles as an HR professional
responsibility to find a solution. That leaves you to do				and resolver will have a significant impact on power
the				dynamics5. BE OPTIMISTIC & RESILIENTAgreeing to
work around finding alternatives. And while you want				participate in mediation is an act of courage and
to do				hope. By participating, employees are conveying their
what's best for this person (and the organization), it's				belief in
important to ask what the employee wants first--				value of the relationship. They are also expressing
whether it's to				their trust
vent, brainstorm solutions or get some coaching.				in you to be responsive to and supportive of our
Understand				efforts.
what the person entering your door wants by asking				Employees may first communicate their anger,
questions:- How can I be most helpful to you?- What				frustration,
are you hoping I will do?- What do you see my role as				suffering, righteousness, regret, not their best hopes.
in this matter?2. ENGAGE IN COLLABORATIVE				You can
LISTENINGBy now everyone has taken at least one				inspire them to continue by being optimistic:- Be
active listening course				positive about your experiences with mediation - Hold
so I won't address the basic skills. Collaborative				their
Listening				best wishes and hopes for the future - Encourage
takes those attending and discerning skills one step				them to work
further.				towards their hopesBe Resilient. Remember the last
It recognizes that in listening each person has a job				time you were stuck in a
that				conflict? You probably replayed the conversation in
supports the work of the other. The speaker's job is				your mind
to clearly				over and over, thinking about different endings and
express his or her thoughts, feelings and goals. The				scolding
listener's				yourself. Employees get stuck, too. In fact, employees
job is facilitating clarity; understanding and make the				can
employee				become so worn down and apathetic about their
feel heard.So what's the difference? The distinction is				conflict,
acknowledgement.				especially a long-standing dispute; they'd do anything
Your role is to help the employee gain a deeper				to end it.Yes, even agree with each other prematurely.
understanding of				Don't let them
her own interests and needs; to define concepts and				settle. Mediation is about each employee getting their
words in a				interest
way that expresses her values (i.e. respect means				met. Be resilient:- Be prepared to move yourself and
something				the employees though
different to each one of us); and to make her feel				productive and less productive cycles of the
acknowledged-someone sees things from her point				mediation- Help the employees see their movement
of view.Making an acknowledgement is tricky in				and progress- Be mindful and appreciative of the hard
corporate settings.				work you all are doingHopefully, you've discovered that
Understandably, you want to help the employee but				these are your own habits in
are mindful ofthe issues of corporate liability. You can				one form or another and that your organization is
acknowledge the				benefiting
employee even while safeguarding your				from your knowledge. You can learn more about
company.Simply put, acknowledgement does not				workplace
mean agreement. It means				mediation and mediation in general from these books
letting the employee know that you can see how he				and websites:The Power of Mediation Bringing Peace
got to his				into the Room Difficult
truth. It doesn't mean taking sides with the employee				Conversation: How to Say What Matters Most
or				(The New England Association of Conflict Resolvers)
abandoning your corporate responsibilities.				(mediation portal site)
Acknowledgement can				(conflict management toolkit)"Mediation is based on a
be the bridge across misperceptions. Engage in				belief in the fundamental honesty of
Collaborative				human beings. Which is another way of saying we all
Listening by:- Help the employee to explore and be				want to be
clear about his interests				treated justly - that is according to our unique situation
and goals- Acknowledge her perspectiveo I can see				and
how you might see it that way.o That must be difficult				viewpoint on the world. And we cannot expect to be
for you.o I understand that you feel _______ about				treated
this.- Ask questions that probe for deeper				justly if we do not honestly reveal ourselves." ~ the
understanding on both your				Honourable
parts:o When you said x, what did you mean by				Neville Chamberlain, British Prime Minister 1937Dina
that?o If y happens, what's significant about that for				Beach Lynch, Esq., CEO of WorkWellTogether.com, is
you?o What am I missing in understanding this from				a mediator, trainer and coach. Get advice and support
your perspective?3. BE A GOOD				using the Five Habits at her teleseminar on 10/26/04.
TRANSMITTERMessages transmitted from one				For more information and register, visit
person to the next are very				WorkWellTogether.

Sd Mediate

Five Habits of Highly Effective Conflict Resolvers