Divorce Roadmap: The Route Around the Legal System

Let's look at how a divorce case works so you cancan do their own uncontested divorce.Contested
see what you face and how you can beat the legaldivorces are another matter entirely. There are lots of
system. The legal divorce process is similar in all states,steps in a contested case and each step is quite
but there are two common sets of terms. In this article,complex. They include pre-trial motions, discovery,
I use the first set.Spouse who starts the divorce =negotiations, manadatory custody mediation, pre-trial
Petitioner or Plaintiffsettlement conference, and finally, the trial. This is
lawyer country; you can't go through a contested
Document filed = Petition or Complaintdivorce very effectively without one. It takes lots of
time, money and emotional suffering to get through a
The other spouse = Respondent or Defendantcontested divorce.
Any contested case can become uncontested if one
Document filed (if any) = Response or Answerspouse simply drops out of the contest or if the
spouses reach an agreement--the earlier, the cheaper.
Orders for divorce and terms = Judgment orHowever, when you are represented by attorneys, it is
DecreeAll divorces start with a Petition and end with amuch more difficult to reach agreement. When
Judgment. The Petition sets out in very general termsnegotiations are conducted through attorneys, it is
what the facts and issues are and what the Petitionertypical for a case to drag on and on and run up large
wants. After being filed with the court, it is served onattorneys' fees before it settles.Advantages to a Legal
the other spouse to give notice that the case hasContestIt might seem odd after all I've said, but there
started. The Petition is a simple, standard document.are some advantages to a contested divorce in some
Filing and serving it is not complicated.The other spousecases:
can now file a Response if he or she wants to be
involved in the legal process. This has to be doneIn high-conflict cases, you can get some restraining
within a stated time, typically 30 days after the Petitionorders.If your spouse is playing hardball, it may be
is served. The Response is similar to the Petition, abetter to fight rather than give in.Fighting is an outlet for
simple document that is easy to do. The effect of theor diversion from the pain of divorce.Anger and fighting
Response is simply to get the other spouse into thehelp sever bonds of attachment and affection.
case on an equal footing with the Petitioner.If aIn some states, there is a chance for material gain--if
Response is filed, the case is "contested." If there is noyou win.And, finally, some people just feel like fighting.If
Response, it is assumed that the Respondentyou have to fight, Divorce Solutions: How to Make Any
concedes all issues according to the broad terms ofDivorce Better (the book from which this article was
the Petition and the case is "uncontested." If the coupleexcerpted) discusses how to run a controlled battle
has made a written marital settlement agreementeffectively and how to avoid some of the worst
before the Petition is filed, there won't be any reasondisadvantages.The disadvantages to a legal contest,
for the second spouse to enter the case.As you canhowever, are truly impressive:
see, there are only three ways you can go through
the legal system from Petition to Judgment:Both sides get drained financially and emotionally.Two
lawyers double the personalities in the case and
You go with an attorney through the legal system toincrease the complexity of every communication,
trial where a Judge will impose decisions aboutmaking settlement much more difficult.Kids can get
property, children and support.More commonly, you willharmed, perhaps permanently; chances for
go through the legal system until your attorney cancooperative co-parenting in the future will be seriously
negotiate an agreement with your spouse's attorneyimpaired.Imposed terms are often not adhered to, so
about property, children and support. Once you haveyou end up in more hassles, spending more money
an agreement, all that's left is a lot of paperwork andand time on enforcement.Your upset becomes
red tape.Do it yourself. This means that you and yourentrenched, runs deeper and lasts longer. Since your
spouse work out an agreement outside the legalreal goal is to get on with your life, this holds you back
system with only limited assistance from attorneys. Asand down--perhaps forever.
you will see from my articles on divorce, doing itNow that you know the route around the legal
yourself has so many advantages that it is by far thesystem for a divorce, you are ready for my article
best way of all.Contested and uncontested divorcesDivorce--How to Beat the System.
are dramatically different:
Copyright 2005 Ed ShermanEd Sherman is a family
The uncontested divorce is relatively simple: it goeslaw attorney, divorce expert, and founder of Nolo
straight through paperwork and red tape to judgment.Press. He started the self-help law movement in 1971
Some couples will need to work out a written maritalwhen he published the first edition of How to Do Your
settlement agreement beforehand. A routineOwn Divorce, and founded the paralegal industry in
appearance in court by Petitioner may be required, but1973. With more than a million books sold, Ed has
many states, such as California, have simplifiedsaved the public billions of dollars in legal fees while
procedures that typically don't require amaking divorce go more smoothly and easily for
hearing--uncontested cases are so routine that theymillions of readers. You can order his books from or
don't want to take up valuable court time with them.by calling (800) 464-5502.
That's all there is to it. With a little help, almost anyone