Divorcing Parents Need To Know These 5 Things

An ex special education teacher/divorce attorneyprior to starting the divorce process. So there is some
reminds parents where the focus should be whenuncertainty in non community property states but an
they face a divorce.experienced lawyer/mediator generally knows what
What is in the child's best interest should always be athe court will do in most situations and can be a
parent's top priority especially when consideringvaluable guide to couples who are unfamiliar with the
divorce. The first thing you should know is ourlaws. The 4th thing to keep in mind is that there is no
adversarial legal system is not child focused or familypoint in fighting over property division. You can protect
friendly. The emotional and financial price you payyour co-parenting relationship and end up with more
when you each hire separate divorce lawyers is higherproperty if you divide everything the way a neutral 3rd
than you can now imagine. Remember when you hadparty (mediator) suggests.
your child or children, your life changed from beingChild custody and visitation issues can be the most
focused on yourself to having them be your firstcontentious and emotional issues In litigated divorce
priority.cases,. If the parents can agree to a custody
Before I became a divorce attorney I was a specialarrangement, which they eventually do in 90% of
education teacher. My Masters is in Special Education,custody cases, they can avoid court altogether. If a
focusing on teaching severely emotionally disturbedcouple can just agree on custody and visitation issues,
children, so I came to the law with a powerful bias towhy would they set a case for trail and go through a
act only in the best interest of the children. The 2ndnasty litigated case? Only 10% of custody cases are
important fact to know is how comfortable so manylitigated. Instead of going to court a couple could
divorce lawyers are in spending their client's collegealways seek the services of a child therapist to advise
fund instead of quickly and economically helping thethem on contested issues. The courts typically apply a
couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 years of"best interest of the child" standard in determining who
litigation and witnessing the total financial and emotionalshould get primary custody. Wouldn't the parents
devastation of too many families I vowed to no longerthemselves be in the best position to decide how their
take adversarial divorces and to do only divorcechildren should be raised? When a couple works
mediation. In the following 3 years, after working withtogether in mediation they are in control of the final
over 150 couples with 100% success rate, I amoutcome, not lawyers or judges. When the couple has
convinced that divorce mediation should be the solutionan intention to effectively co-parent by always keeping
of first resort for 85% of the couples who arethe best interest of the child foremost in their mind,
contemplating divorce. So the 3rd thing you need tothey will produce a much more satisfying outcome
know is there is an alternative to divorce court,than if a solution is imposed upon them from above.
mediation.Child custody issues are the most inappropriate issues
It is easier to deal with a situation when basicto be decided within an adversarial system. The win
information is already known. There are 8 communitylose game that is played in court always results in
property states (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana,tension between the parents. Not only will this tension
Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington andnegatively affect the health and happiness of the
Wisconsin) which clearly define how to divideparents but the children will be caught in the middle of
community property. What ever was totally owneda battle, ducking verbal and emotional bullets as they
prior to marriage or received by gift or inheritance isfly over their heads. The adversarial system does not
separate property that goes to the spouse who ownsprotect the co-parenting relationship of parents and
it. If it was partially paid for using wages or incomeshould be avoided if at all possible. An emotionally
earned during the marriage, the "community" gains anvulnerable client in the hands of a "zealous advocate"
interest in it that can be calculated. Division of propertywho is more concerned with enriching themselves than
in community property states is one of the easiestin helping their client is a dangerous combination. The
issues to deal with because it is so clear cut. But whatlast thing to keep in mind is that avoiding divorce
about the other 42 states? These states use anattorneys and court should be the #1 priority if you
equitable distribution system to divide marital property.want to protect your health, spirit, co-parenting
Each state has its own rules that can be ascertainedrelationship and pocketbook.