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Article #129: Divorcing Parents Need To Know These 5 Things

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An ex special education teacher/divorce uncertainty in non community property
attorney reminds parents where the focus states but an experienced lawyer/mediator
should be when they face a divorce. generally knows what the court will do in
What is in the child's best interest most situations and can be a valuable
should always be a parent's top priority guide to couples who are unfamiliar with
especially when considering divorce. The the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind
first thing you should know is our is that there is no point in fighting
adversarial legal system is not child over property division. You can protect
focused or family friendly. The emotional your co-parenting relationship and end up
and financial price you pay when you each with more property if you divide
hire separate divorce lawyers is higher everything the way a neutral 3rd party
than you can now imagine. Remember when (mediator) suggests.
you had your child or children, your life Child custody and visitation issues can
changed from being focused on yourself to be the most contentious and emotional
having them be your first priority. issues In litigated divorce cases,. If
Before I became a divorce attorney I was the parents can agree to a custody
a special education teacher. My Masters arrangement, which they eventually do in
is in Special Education, focusing on 90% of custody cases, they can avoid
teaching severely emotionally disturbed court altogether. If a couple can just
children, so I came to the law with a agree on custody and visitation issues,
powerful bias to act only in the best why would they set a case for trail and
interest of the children. The 2nd go through a nasty litigated case? Only
important fact to know is how comfortable 10% of custody cases are litigated.
so many divorce lawyers are in spending Instead of going to court a couple could
their client's college fund instead of always seek the services of a child
quickly and economically helping the therapist to advise them on contested
couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8 issues. The courts typically apply a
years of litigation and witnessing the "best interest of the child" standard in
total financial and emotional devastation determining who should get primary
of too many families I vowed to no longer custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves
take adversarial divorces and to do only be in the best position to decide how
divorce mediation. In the following 3 their children should be raised? When a
years, after working with over 150 couple works together in mediation they
couples with 100% success rate, I am are in control of the final outcome, not
convinced that divorce mediation should lawyers or judges. When the couple has an
be the solution of first resort for 85% intention to effectively co-parent by
of the couples who are contemplating always keeping the best interest of the
divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to child foremost in their mind, they will
know is there is an alternative to produce a much more satisfying outcome
divorce court, mediation. than if a solution is imposed upon them
It is easier to deal with a situation from above. Child custody issues are the
when basic information is already known. most inappropriate issues to be decided
There are 8 community property states within an adversarial system. The win
(Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana, lose game that is played in court always
Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and results in tension between the parents.
Wisconsin) which clearly define how to Not only will this tension negatively
divide community property. What ever was affect the health and happiness of the
totally owned prior to marriage or parents but the children will be caught
received by gift or inheritance is in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal
separate property that goes to the spouse and emotional bullets as they fly over
who owns it. If it was partially paid for their heads. The adversarial system does
using wages or income earned during the not protect the co-parenting relationship
marriage, the "community" gains an of parents and should be avoided if at
interest in it that can be calculated. all possible. An emotionally vulnerable
Division of property in community client in the hands of a "zealous
property states is one of the easiest advocate" who is more concerned with
issues to deal with because it is so enriching themselves than in helping
clear cut. But what about the other 42 their client is a dangerous combination.
states? These states use an equitable The last thing to keep in mind is that
distribution system to divide marital avoiding divorce attorneys and court
property. Each state has its own rules should be the #1 priority if you want to
that can be ascertained prior to starting protect your health, spirit, co-parenting
the divorce process. So there is some relationship and pocketbook.






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