| An ex special education teacher/divorce
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| | uncertainty in non community property
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| attorney reminds parents where the focus
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| | states but an experienced lawyer/mediator
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| should be when they face a divorce.
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| | generally knows what the court will do in
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| What is in the child's best interest
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| | most situations and can be a valuable
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| should always be a parent's top priority
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| | guide to couples who are unfamiliar with
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| especially when considering divorce. The
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| | the laws. The 4th thing to keep in mind
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| first thing you should know is our
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| | is that there is no point in fighting
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| adversarial legal system is not child
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| | over property division. You can protect
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| focused or family friendly. The emotional
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| | your co-parenting relationship and end up
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| and financial price you pay when you each
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| | with more property if you divide
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| hire separate divorce lawyers is higher
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| | everything the way a neutral 3rd party
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| than you can now imagine. Remember when
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| | (mediator) suggests.
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| you had your child or children, your life
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| | Child custody and visitation issues can
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| changed from being focused on yourself to
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| | be the most contentious and emotional
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| having them be your first priority.
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| | issues In litigated divorce cases,. If
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| Before I became a divorce attorney I was
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| | the parents can agree to a custody
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| a special education teacher. My Masters
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| | arrangement, which they eventually do in
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| is in Special Education, focusing on
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| | 90% of custody cases, they can avoid
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| teaching severely emotionally disturbed
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| | court altogether. If a couple can just
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| children, so I came to the law with a
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| | agree on custody and visitation issues,
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| powerful bias to act only in the best
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| | why would they set a case for trail and
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| interest of the children. The 2nd
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| | go through a nasty litigated case? Only
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| important fact to know is how comfortable
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| | 10% of custody cases are litigated.
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| so many divorce lawyers are in spending
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| | Instead of going to court a couple could
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| their client's college fund instead of
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| | always seek the services of a child
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| quickly and economically helping the
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| | therapist to advise them on contested
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| couple to negotiate a fair deal. After 8
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| | issues. The courts typically apply a
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| years of litigation and witnessing the
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| | "best interest of the child" standard in
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| total financial and emotional devastation
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| | determining who should get primary
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| of too many families I vowed to no longer
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| | custody. Wouldn't the parents themselves
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| take adversarial divorces and to do only
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| | be in the best position to decide how
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| divorce mediation. In the following 3
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| | their children should be raised? When a
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| years, after working with over 150
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| | couple works together in mediation they
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| couples with 100% success rate, I am
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| | are in control of the final outcome, not
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| convinced that divorce mediation should
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| | lawyers or judges. When the couple has an
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| be the solution of first resort for 85%
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| | intention to effectively co-parent by
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| of the couples who are contemplating
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| | always keeping the best interest of the
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| divorce. So the 3rd thing you need to
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| | child foremost in their mind, they will
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| know is there is an alternative to
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| | produce a much more satisfying outcome
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| divorce court, mediation.
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| | than if a solution is imposed upon them
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| It is easier to deal with a situation
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| | from above. Child custody issues are the
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| when basic information is already known.
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| | most inappropriate issues to be decided
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| There are 8 community property states
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| | within an adversarial system. The win
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| (Arizona, California, Idaho, Louisiana,
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| | lose game that is played in court always
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| Nevada, New Mexico, Texas, Washington and
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| | results in tension between the parents.
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| Wisconsin) which clearly define how to
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| | Not only will this tension negatively
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| divide community property. What ever was
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| | affect the health and happiness of the
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| totally owned prior to marriage or
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| | parents but the children will be caught
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| received by gift or inheritance is
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| | in the middle of a battle, ducking verbal
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| separate property that goes to the spouse
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| | and emotional bullets as they fly over
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| who owns it. If it was partially paid for
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| | their heads. The adversarial system does
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| using wages or income earned during the
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| | not protect the co-parenting relationship
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| marriage, the "community" gains an
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| | of parents and should be avoided if at
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| interest in it that can be calculated.
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| | all possible. An emotionally vulnerable
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| Division of property in community
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| | client in the hands of a "zealous
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| property states is one of the easiest
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| | advocate" who is more concerned with
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| issues to deal with because it is so
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| | enriching themselves than in helping
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| clear cut. But what about the other 42
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| | their client is a dangerous combination.
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| states? These states use an equitable
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| | The last thing to keep in mind is that
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| distribution system to divide marital
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| | avoiding divorce attorneys and court
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| property. Each state has its own rules
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| | should be the #1 priority if you want to
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| that can be ascertained prior to starting
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| | protect your health, spirit, co-parenting
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| the divorce process. So there is some
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| | relationship and pocketbook.
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