| Mediation is one of the most effective ways to | | | | be willing to live with. The more honest that you are |
| resolve your disputes and conflicts. It can save | | | | with knowing what you can live with the better off |
| parties a lot of money, energy and time. However, | | | | you will be. This will help you be prepared when you |
| many people have never been involved in mediation | | | | consider alternative solutions and proposals in |
| and do not know what to expect and therefore | | | | mediation, and will help you know beforehand what |
| come unprepared to take advantage of all the | | | | you may be able to live with. |
| mediation has to offer. From my experience as a | | | | Walk in the Other Parties' Shoes: |
| mediator, the more prepared the parties are, the | | | | Mediation is about finding solutions that will work for |
| stronger the resolution will be. Preparing for mediation | | | | all parties. It is a solution making process. Thus the |
| is not something that takes a lot of time and | | | | more that you understand the other parties feelings, |
| strategy. There are some simple steps that parties | | | | perspectives, and interests the better you will be |
| can take that will greatly affect the mediation | | | | able to create a solution that everyone can agree |
| outcome. This article will take a look at how to | | | | upon. Take time before the mediation to try to |
| effectively prepare for mediation, so that you will be | | | | understand what a solution would look like for the |
| ready to create the best resolution to your conflict. | | | | other party. Try to understand what the minimum is |
| Understanding the Mediation Process: | | | | that the other party would accept. This will help you |
| If you have never participated in mediation, then you | | | | be more creative in finding alternate solutions, and |
| are not alone. For many, mediation is a vague | | | | help you to become creative in your proposals. Look |
| process. Knowing how mediation works will help | | | | for shared goals and interests that you both have. |
| reduce your anxiety, fear and limit any surprises that | | | | Many times parties come to mediation with very |
| you may encounter. The mediation process is a | | | | similar goals and interests but have very different |
| confidential way for you and the other party to | | | | positions or ideas of how these interests should be |
| discuss and resolve your conflict. Typically the | | | | met. When both parties begin to look for mutual |
| mediation is facilitated by one to two mediators | | | | ways that benefit the other, mediations become |
| whose job it is to help the parties discuss their | | | | powerful opportunities to create strong and lasting |
| conflict and come to a resolution. Mediators are not | | | | resolutions. |
| judges or arbitrators; therefore they do not make | | | | Be Aware of You and the Other Parties' Emotional |
| any judgments or decisions. Mediations are party | | | | State: |
| driven, meaning that all decisions and agreements are | | | | Conflict is an emotional process that can bring the |
| made by the disputing parties. Mediators are trained | | | | best and worse out of people. No matter how well |
| to help you come to a decision that all parties can | | | | one controls his/her emotions, they will ultimately |
| agree upon. Because the process is driven by the | | | | surface. Emotions may be something we have |
| disputing parties, many of the rules and participants | | | | difficulty controlling in conflict, but being aware of |
| are agreed upon by all involved parties. Just | | | | them and their power can help. It is always best to |
| understanding the process will give you an | | | | know what issues, words, and actions can make us |
| advantage, in knowing what to expect. | | | | and the other party to explode. This will help you |
| Understand Your Interests: | | | | know how to approach a subject, and identify what |
| One of the most important things that you can do to | | | | is happening to us emotionally during the mediation. It |
| prepare for mediation is to know what your needs | | | | will also help you to prepare for talking about |
| and interests are. Before you can identify your | | | | important and sensitive subjects. Having an |
| interests, you have to separate them from your | | | | awareness of emotions by preparing for them will |
| positions or proposed solutions. An interest is what | | | | help you when emotions are high. |
| you what you want to gain from mediation, while a | | | | Some Final Remarks: |
| position is how you expect that interest to be met. | | | | One thing to understand before you mediate is to |
| For example, if you are a divorced parent an interest | | | | know that you and the other party are the decision |
| may be to have more time with your children, and a | | | | makers. No decision can be agreed upon without you |
| position would be that you want to pick your children | | | | and the other parties consent. Thus it is imperative |
| up three hours early each weekend, even though it | | | | that everyone works to make a resolution that |
| cuts into the other parent's time with the children. | | | | everyone can agree too. You win only when the |
| While your interest may have many ways to be met, | | | | other party wins. Thus going into mediation with this |
| your position only has one way to be met. Take | | | | mindset will be beneficial and make the mediation |
| some time before the mediation to write down your | | | | more effective. |
| interests and needs. This will help you to be open in | | | | Mediation is an active process for all parties. Mediation |
| finding solutions to meet your interests and increase | | | | success is based on how well all parties are willing to |
| your chances of succeeding. | | | | work to find an agreeable resolution to their conflicts. |
| Knowing What the Minimum is that You Will Accept: | | | | If parties have an understanding of mediation, |
| When trying to resolve any conflict, there will be | | | | understand their interests, know the minimum they |
| compromise, alternate solutions, and give and take. | | | | are willing to accept, walk in the other parties shoes, |
| Therefore it is always good to know what the | | | | have an awareness of their emotions, and |
| minimum is you are willing to accept in your resolution. | | | | understand that they are the decision makers before |
| Knowing this before the mediation will help you | | | | they attended mediation; they will be prepared. |
| protect your interests, and keep you on tract and | | | | Therefore the more prepared the parties come into |
| focused. The best way to visualize this is to know | | | | mediation willing to work together, the higher the |
| what the best outcome or your alternative option is | | | | success rate will be. Preparation may take some time |
| if you did not mediate. Take time to explore your | | | | and reflection on your end, but the fruits of your |
| limits and boundaries. Seriously consider what you will | | | | preparation will see in the strength of your solutions. |