| Mediation is one of the most effective ways to | | | | to live with. The more honest that you are with |
| resolve your disputes and conflicts. It can save parties | | | | knowing what you can live with the better off you will |
| a lot of money, energy and time. However, many | | | | be. This will help you be prepared when you consider |
| people have never been involved in mediation and do | | | | alternative solutions and proposals in mediation, and will |
| not know what to expect and therefore come | | | | help you know beforehand what you may be able to |
| unprepared to take advantage of all the mediation has | | | | live with. |
| to offer. From my experience as a mediator, the more | | | | Walk in the Other Parties' Shoes: |
| prepared the parties are, the stronger the resolution will | | | | Mediation is about finding solutions that will work for all |
| be. Preparing for mediation is not something that takes | | | | parties. It is a solution making process. Thus the more |
| a lot of time and strategy. There are some simple | | | | that you understand the other parties feelings, |
| steps that parties can take that will greatly affect the | | | | perspectives, and interests the better you will be able |
| mediation outcome. This article will take a look at how | | | | to create a solution that everyone can agree upon. |
| to effectively prepare for mediation, so that you will be | | | | Take time before the mediation to try to understand |
| ready to create the best resolution to your conflict. | | | | what a solution would look like for the other party. Try |
| Understanding the Mediation Process: | | | | to understand what the minimum is that the other party |
| If you have never participated in mediation, then you | | | | would accept. This will help you be more creative in |
| are not alone. For many, mediation is a vague process. | | | | finding alternate solutions, and help you to become |
| Knowing how mediation works will help reduce your | | | | creative in your proposals. Look for shared goals and |
| anxiety, fear and limit any surprises that you may | | | | interests that you both have. Many times parties come |
| encounter. The mediation process is a confidential way | | | | to mediation with very similar goals and interests but |
| for you and the other party to discuss and resolve | | | | have very different positions or ideas of how these |
| your conflict. Typically the mediation is facilitated by | | | | interests should be met. When both parties begin to |
| one to two mediators whose job it is to help the | | | | look for mutual ways that benefit the other, mediations |
| parties discuss their conflict and come to a resolution. | | | | become powerful opportunities to create strong and |
| Mediators are not judges or arbitrators; therefore they | | | | lasting resolutions. |
| do not make any judgments or decisions. Mediations | | | | Be Aware of You and the Other Parties' Emotional |
| are party driven, meaning that all decisions and | | | | State: |
| agreements are made by the disputing parties. | | | | Conflict is an emotional process that can bring the best |
| Mediators are trained to help you come to a decision | | | | and worse out of people. No matter how well one |
| that all parties can agree upon. Because the process is | | | | controls his/her emotions, they will ultimately surface. |
| driven by the disputing parties, many of the rules and | | | | Emotions may be something we have difficulty |
| participants are agreed upon by all involved parties. | | | | controlling in conflict, but being aware of them and their |
| Just understanding the process will give you an | | | | power can help. It is always best to know what issues, |
| advantage, in knowing what to expect. | | | | words, and actions can make us and the other party |
| Understand Your Interests: | | | | to explode. This will help you know how to approach a |
| One of the most important things that you can do to | | | | subject, and identify what is happening to us |
| prepare for mediation is to know what your needs and | | | | emotionally during the mediation. It will also help you to |
| interests are. Before you can identify your interests, | | | | prepare for talking about important and sensitive |
| you have to separate them from your positions or | | | | subjects. Having an awareness of emotions by |
| proposed solutions. An interest is what you what you | | | | preparing for them will help you when emotions are |
| want to gain from mediation, while a position is how | | | | high. |
| you expect that interest to be met. For example, if you | | | | Some Final Remarks: |
| are a divorced parent an interest may be to have | | | | One thing to understand before you mediate is to |
| more time with your children, and a position would be | | | | know that you and the other party are the decision |
| that you want to pick your children up three hours | | | | makers. No decision can be agreed upon without you |
| early each weekend, even though it cuts into the other | | | | and the other parties consent. Thus it is imperative that |
| parent's time with the children. While your interest may | | | | everyone works to make a resolution that everyone |
| have many ways to be met, your position only has | | | | can agree too. You win only when the other party |
| one way to be met. Take some time before the | | | | wins. Thus going into mediation with this mindset will be |
| mediation to write down your interests and needs. This | | | | beneficial and make the mediation more effective. |
| will help you to be open in finding solutions to meet | | | | Mediation is an active process for all parties. Mediation |
| your interests and increase your chances of | | | | success is based on how well all parties are willing to |
| succeeding. | | | | work to find an agreeable resolution to their conflicts. If |
| Knowing What the Minimum is that You Will Accept: | | | | parties have an understanding of mediation, understand |
| When trying to resolve any conflict, there will be | | | | their interests, know the minimum they are willing to |
| compromise, alternate solutions, and give and take. | | | | accept, walk in the other parties shoes, have an |
| Therefore it is always good to know what the | | | | awareness of their emotions, and understand that they |
| minimum is you are willing to accept in your resolution. | | | | are the decision makers before they attended |
| Knowing this before the mediation will help you protect | | | | mediation; they will be prepared. Therefore the more |
| your interests, and keep you on tract and focused. | | | | prepared the parties come into mediation willing to |
| The best way to visualize this is to know what the | | | | work together, the higher the success rate will be. |
| best outcome or your alternative option is if you did | | | | Preparation may take some time and reflection on |
| not mediate. Take time to explore your limits and | | | | your end, but the fruits of your preparation will see in |
| boundaries. Seriously consider what you will be willing | | | | the strength of your solutions. |