Five Steps For Preparing For Mediation

Mediation is one of the most effective ways toto live with. The more honest that you are with
resolve your disputes and conflicts. It can save partiesknowing what you can live with the better off you will
a lot of money, energy and time. However, manybe. This will help you be prepared when you consider
people have never been involved in mediation and doalternative solutions and proposals in mediation, and will
not know what to expect and therefore comehelp you know beforehand what you may be able to
unprepared to take advantage of all the mediation haslive with.
to offer. From my experience as a mediator, the moreWalk in the Other Parties' Shoes:
prepared the parties are, the stronger the resolution willMediation is about finding solutions that will work for all
be. Preparing for mediation is not something that takesparties. It is a solution making process. Thus the more
a lot of time and strategy. There are some simplethat you understand the other parties feelings,
steps that parties can take that will greatly affect theperspectives, and interests the better you will be able
mediation outcome. This article will take a look at howto create a solution that everyone can agree upon.
to effectively prepare for mediation, so that you will beTake time before the mediation to try to understand
ready to create the best resolution to your conflict.what a solution would look like for the other party. Try
Understanding the Mediation Process:to understand what the minimum is that the other party
If you have never participated in mediation, then youwould accept. This will help you be more creative in
are not alone. For many, mediation is a vague process.finding alternate solutions, and help you to become
Knowing how mediation works will help reduce yourcreative in your proposals. Look for shared goals and
anxiety, fear and limit any surprises that you mayinterests that you both have. Many times parties come
encounter. The mediation process is a confidential wayto mediation with very similar goals and interests but
for you and the other party to discuss and resolvehave very different positions or ideas of how these
your conflict. Typically the mediation is facilitated byinterests should be met. When both parties begin to
one to two mediators whose job it is to help thelook for mutual ways that benefit the other, mediations
parties discuss their conflict and come to a resolution.become powerful opportunities to create strong and
Mediators are not judges or arbitrators; therefore theylasting resolutions.
do not make any judgments or decisions. MediationsBe Aware of You and the Other Parties' Emotional
are party driven, meaning that all decisions andState:
agreements are made by the disputing parties.Conflict is an emotional process that can bring the best
Mediators are trained to help you come to a decisionand worse out of people. No matter how well one
that all parties can agree upon. Because the process iscontrols his/her emotions, they will ultimately surface.
driven by the disputing parties, many of the rules andEmotions may be something we have difficulty
participants are agreed upon by all involved parties.controlling in conflict, but being aware of them and their
Just understanding the process will give you anpower can help. It is always best to know what issues,
advantage, in knowing what to expect.words, and actions can make us and the other party
Understand Your Interests:to explode. This will help you know how to approach a
One of the most important things that you can do tosubject, and identify what is happening to us
prepare for mediation is to know what your needs andemotionally during the mediation. It will also help you to
interests are. Before you can identify your interests,prepare for talking about important and sensitive
you have to separate them from your positions orsubjects. Having an awareness of emotions by
proposed solutions. An interest is what you what youpreparing for them will help you when emotions are
want to gain from mediation, while a position is howhigh.
you expect that interest to be met. For example, if youSome Final Remarks:
are a divorced parent an interest may be to haveOne thing to understand before you mediate is to
more time with your children, and a position would beknow that you and the other party are the decision
that you want to pick your children up three hoursmakers. No decision can be agreed upon without you
early each weekend, even though it cuts into the otherand the other parties consent. Thus it is imperative that
parent's time with the children. While your interest mayeveryone works to make a resolution that everyone
have many ways to be met, your position only hascan agree too. You win only when the other party
one way to be met. Take some time before thewins. Thus going into mediation with this mindset will be
mediation to write down your interests and needs. Thisbeneficial and make the mediation more effective.
will help you to be open in finding solutions to meetMediation is an active process for all parties. Mediation
your interests and increase your chances ofsuccess is based on how well all parties are willing to
succeeding.work to find an agreeable resolution to their conflicts. If
Knowing What the Minimum is that You Will Accept:parties have an understanding of mediation, understand
When trying to resolve any conflict, there will betheir interests, know the minimum they are willing to
compromise, alternate solutions, and give and take.accept, walk in the other parties shoes, have an
Therefore it is always good to know what theawareness of their emotions, and understand that they
minimum is you are willing to accept in your resolution.are the decision makers before they attended
Knowing this before the mediation will help you protectmediation; they will be prepared. Therefore the more
your interests, and keep you on tract and focused.prepared the parties come into mediation willing to
The best way to visualize this is to know what thework together, the higher the success rate will be.
best outcome or your alternative option is if you didPreparation may take some time and reflection on
not mediate. Take time to explore your limits andyour end, but the fruits of your preparation will see in
boundaries. Seriously consider what you will be willingthe strength of your solutions.