| Once you have met with your divorce attorney and | | | | to be able to work together in future cases. If your |
| prepared a proposed agreement addressing all issues | | | | attorney is making jokes to the opposing attorney that |
| concerning your children's future, you might think you | | | | does not mean that your attorney is betraying you or |
| are ready to attend the mediation conference. Not! | | | | taking sides against you. It only means that he or she is |
| There are other things you must do in preparation to | | | | a professional and is trying to break the ice in an effort |
| undergo a child custody mediation process. | | | | to establish a good connection with his or her |
| The child custody mediation process leaves on the | | | | adversary before starting a process that can generally |
| parent's hands the freedom to reach an agreement on | | | | be very stressful. |
| all their children's critical decisions, such as: who are the | | | | At the conference table, each parent should sit next to |
| kids going to live with and where, what school they are | | | | his or her attorney on opposite sides. The mediator will |
| going to attend, who is going to provide for their | | | | take the head seat. The conference will start with an |
| financial support and how much and how is time to be | | | | introduction conducted by the mediator. The mediator, |
| allotted for each parent to spend with the kids. Child | | | | an expert in family law, will introduce himself and set |
| custody and visitation issues can make any meeting | | | | forth the purpose and the guidelines of the meeting. He |
| stressful enough, that is why there is no need to add | | | | or she will then ask everyone to introduce themselves |
| any more stress to this divorce mediation process. All | | | | by name and in the case of the attorneys by |
| the contrary, humor and casual talk can bring a lot of | | | | identifying which party they represent. |
| balance to any stressful situation like this one. A | | | | The mediation will then introduce the agenda submitted |
| divorce or child custody mediation does not necessarily | | | | by the parties, with the help of their respective |
| have to make you lose your mind, but it can. That is | | | | attorneys. The agenda must establish the order in |
| why you need following hints to make a mediation | | | | which the issues at stake are going to be addressed. |
| conference less stressful. | | | | Once the first topic is introduced the mediator will ask |
| Come prepared. Preparation, knowing your alternatives | | | | each attorney to provide their client's point of view on |
| and the possible legal consequences of each one, | | | | the issue and the reasons for it. After both attorneys |
| gives you the balance that you need to make sound | | | | have provided the mediator with a summary of where |
| decisions. | | | | each parent stands on the topic, the mediator will ask |
| Come with an open mind and heart, and also with | | | | if there is a possibility of reaching an amicable solution. |
| open ears. Not everything is going to be decided in | | | | If the attorneys believe there is an easy way to solve |
| your favor. You might have to compromise with some | | | | the issue they will proceed and present their proposed |
| of the less important decisions in order to get favored | | | | solution to the mediator. The mediator will then offer his |
| in those that matter to you the most. | | | | or her comments on the proposed solution, always |
| Set some time for relaxation ahead of the scheduled | | | | making sure that it is within the applicable law and in |
| mediation conference. Get enough quality rest the night | | | | the child's best interest. If the proposed solution is |
| before; even when that might require the use of an | | | | agreeable to the mediator, the issue is put aside and |
| over-the- counter medication. Don't schedule any other | | | | the conference will move on to the next topic to be |
| commitment the day of the mediation, if possible. You | | | | discussed. If, on the contrary, the parties can't reach an |
| never know how long the conference might be. Leave | | | | agreement among themselves, the mediator will then |
| behind all your resentments and hard feelings you | | | | split the conference and move the parties into two |
| might have towards your ex-spouse before going | | | | separate rooms, each spouse with their attorney. This |
| inside the conference room. Dress comfortably, but | | | | is when the mediator should make good use of his or |
| professionally. | | | | her biggest asset: negotiation skills. |
| In a child custody mediation conference you don't have | | | | The mediator will visit each room back and forth until |
| to be sweet to your ex-spouse, but you must be | | | | an agreement is reached. At first, the mediator will |
| cordial. You must greet him or her with some formality. | | | | introduce alternatives to both parties and give them |
| A hand shake is the best salutation you could go for, | | | | some neutral and practical advice. Each time the |
| even when you feel like throwing a fist at him or her. | | | | mediator visits a room, the issue should be narrowed. |
| Child custody mediation has the purpose of serving | | | | The mediator's visit to each room does not have a |
| your children's best interest, not yours. It is in these | | | | time limit. He or she may stay in one room talking with |
| meetings that you and your spouse are going to | | | | that party as much as it takes to bring down the issue |
| decide who is going to have the responsibility of | | | | to a point closer to resolution. This practice can go for |
| making decisions related to your children's future. | | | | two, four or six hours, depending on the agenda or the |
| Don't get upset with your attorney if you see him or | | | | parties' disposition to compromise in order to reach an |
| her smiling or acting friendly to your ex-spouse's | | | | agreement that best fulfills their children's present and |
| attorney as they greet. Keep in mind that most | | | | future needs. |
| attorneys in a town know each other and they have | | | | |