| From my friends in psychology, I know that that good | | | | cases outside of court. In other cases, an attorney |
| communication is at the heart of good relationships. | | | | sees only the financial incentives involved in dragging |
| As an attorney, I can tell you that good communication | | | | out a case, so that it has to go to court again and |
| is vital to successful legal proceedings as well. Perhaps | | | | again. He has little interest in effectuating a timely |
| nowhere is this more accurate than in the family law | | | | settlement. (In the current economic climate, fewer |
| arena. However, in my experience, good | | | | people will be able to hire divorce attorneys, and I |
| communication is all too rare between individuals | | | | suspect that some attorneys will be seeking "cash |
| involved in family proceedings, which leads to a variety | | | | cow" opportunities to meet their own financial goals.) |
| of unfortunate consequences. | | | | Such an attorney may fail to return phone calls and/or |
| After years of working in transactional law (that is, | | | | fail to respond to letters. Ultimately, the opposing |
| writing contracts related to creating business entities, or | | | | attorney will of necessity resort to attempting to |
| sometimes dissolving them, as well as creating estate | | | | resolve the case through court proceedings and/or trial. |
| planning documents), I began practicing family law in | | | | A good attorney also manages his or her client's best |
| 1995. In transactional law, there is typically no overt | | | | interests by promoting realistic expectations concerning |
| conflict, and my work there focused on helping my | | | | what they may want, versus what they are likely to |
| clients make good business and contract choices, and | | | | get, in a negotiated settlement. For a variety of |
| otherwise protecting their interests. Family law, on the | | | | reasons, attorneys sometimes fail in that regard. They |
| other hand, is a completely different ballgame. As a | | | | let their clients down by promoting unrealistic |
| transactional attorney, I was typically hired to put | | | | expectations, such that the clients want to keep |
| something together to create or renew a certain | | | | fighting-through litigation, involving skyrocketing legal |
| "relationship." As a family law attorney, I am hired to | | | | fees as well as high emotional tolls-for decisions that |
| help clients break a relationship apart. Somewhat | | | | are unreasonable and ultimately unattainable. Clients |
| ironically, “family law" is about dissolving a marriage | | | | who insist on having their "day in court" are often very |
| or non-marital family involving children. Thus, whereas | | | | disappointed with the results-especially considering the |
| emotions are not typically problematic in transactional | | | | expense involved. They completely lose control over |
| law, where the work is largely about creating or | | | | the resolution of a matter when they put it in the hands |
| renewing relationships, painful and conflicting emotions | | | | of a judge. A judge, after all, is only human and may |
| are unfortunately the norm in family law. | | | | have a much different perception than that of the |
| Representing my clients as a family law attorney, most | | | | client. |
| of the time, I am working with people who loved each | | | | Regardless of the reason, if one or both attorneys are |
| other very much at one time, or who may still love | | | | unable or unwilling to make every effort to assist the |
| each other, even though the relationship failed. As a | | | | clients in settling the matter out of court, the true losers |
| result of the pain and anger involved in that failure, the | | | | are the parties involved in the divorce. In such cases, |
| parties very often no longer communicate | | | | the only way that a case can be resolved outside |
| (constructively) any more, and instead leave crucial | | | | court is by the clients communicating directly with each |
| communications up to their respective attorneys. This | | | | other and resolving the matter on their own based on |
| can be disastrous on a number of levels. | | | | the information they each learned in the course of the |
| I believe that the best way I can serve my clients is to | | | | proceedings. Such resolution is only possible if the |
| help them to make as many of the important decisions | | | | clients are ready, willing and able to communicate with |
| in the dissolution of their relationship outside of the | | | | each other. This is why I firmly believe that good legal |
| court system. This demands clear, accurate | | | | representation involves diffusing powerful emotions |
| communication between the parties to a divorce, as | | | | and encouraging realistic, if not conciliatory goals in a |
| well as between their respective attorneys. | | | | divorce settlement. As difficult as it may be - often, a |
| Unfortunately, many attorneys make themselves | | | | supportive and constructive relationship with a mental |
| practically unreachable for the purpose of negotiating | | | | health professional is key. The parties involved need |
| settlements. I have found that sometimes attorneys | | | | to try and keep their emotions under control and |
| run family law mills, and have so many cases that they | | | | maintain good communication with each other. In the |
| don't have the time (or make the time) to resolve | | | | end, the positive resolution is more than worth it. |