| Copyright (c) 2009 Lucille Uttermohlen | | | | other apart for a living. |
| To say Judgipoo and I don't always get along is an | | | | This cartoon could be used as a warning to law school |
| exaggeration. We rarely get through a hearing | | | | freshmen. Lawyers can scream invectives at each |
| together that one of us doesn't say something rude. | | | | other in open court, but when the hearing is over, they |
| Since one of us can hold the other in contempt, you | | | | can walk across the street together for a cup of |
| would think that the other one would be a bit cautious. | | | | coffee. Judgipoo and I don't do lunch, but when we are |
| She is, for the most part. She doesn't look good in | | | | not engaged in open battle, we even joke with each |
| orange, and until the county jail picks different colored | | | | other. |
| jumpers, she will try to avoid the worse aspects of | | | | This way too early morning, I was defending a lady on |
| Judgipoo's wrath. However, today was one of those | | | | a contempt citation. This is what you file if your |
| days that she did wonder if jail issue shoes were also | | | | ex-husband, or ex-wife doesn't follow court orders. If |
| orange. | | | | for instance, one of the parents gets behind in child |
| Today started out peacefully enough. When I got to | | | | support, or won't let the other exercise visitation, he |
| court, I was on time, and not a minute early. My first | | | | can end up paying the other parent's attorneys fees, |
| case was a contempt citation which was filed against | | | | spending time in jail, or doing a little of both, if he / she |
| one of my clients. | | | | catches the judge in the right mood. Judgipoo is usually |
| This was one of those situations where Mom isn't | | | | in that mood. |
| over cooperative, and Dad is a born again whiner. | | | | This morning, my client inadvertently let it slip that she |
| Neither of them would walk across the street to spit | | | | could cooperate with the visitation schedule, but she |
| on the other if said street was an inch wider than say | | | | would have to give up her alternate Sundays with her |
| a 4 lane highway. If one of them got hit by a bus, the | | | | boyfriend and his kids to do it. I suggested that would |
| other may not rent a hall for the party, but you can bet | | | | be a good idea, since driving the kids to see their dad |
| some celebration of the event would occur. | | | | was more important than hanging out with her |
| Because of their delightfully civil attitude towards each | | | | boyfriend. Opposing counsel said that we hadn't |
| other, they can't talk about anything. You wouldn't think | | | | bothered to mention that possibility to her before this |
| a lawyer would find this fact annoying. Cranky | | | | morning. I hadn't told her, because (1) I love to be yelled |
| uncooperative people are repeat clients, and a girl | | | | at by Judgipoo, or, (2) I didn't know myself until just that |
| does have to make a living. But, self interest aside, if | | | | very moment. Judgipoo apparently thought that (1) was |
| only for a moment, it would be nice if some of these | | | | the right answer, and he told opposing counsel, "for all I |
| people could get through a couple of visitation | | | | know, they just made that up." |
| weekends without involving lawyers, the police, or you | | | | I'm totally blind, but at that moment a miracle occurred, |
| guessed it, our cranky friend, judgipoo. | | | | and I could see red. Without thinking that our left over |
| Judgipoo and I are always polite when things start out. I | | | | chicken and noodles might be a heck of a lot nicer |
| manage a sincere "good morning" when His Honor | | | | tasting than whatever they were serving at the White |
| enters the courtroom. He returns the greeting cordially, | | | | County Lock up that night, I blirted, "what the hell did |
| and then the fun begins. | | | | you mean by that?" |
| Have you ever seen that Warner Brothers cartoon | | | | Judgipoo was startled. So was I. Quiet fell over the |
| where the sheep dog and the coyote chase each | | | | courtroom. The Venus lawyer traps licked their lips in |
| other around snarling and snapping until a buzzer goes | | | | anticipation of a tasty meal of chopped attorney, and I |
| off? In the next scene, they are standing beside the | | | | was so mad at the moment that I was hoping to give |
| time clock, shaking hands and promising to see each | | | | them some French fried Judgipoo for dessert. It was |
| other at work tomorrow. In short, it is nothing personal, | | | | then that another miracle occurred. Judgipoo |
| both of them were just doing there jobs. They could | | | | apologized. |
| be perfectly friendly when they weren't tearing each | | | | |