| As parents, we are bound to take care of our children | | | | clauses. So the terms of the maintenance are the net |
| forever, even if we split or change partners. Children | | | | greatest point of debate. |
| should not be made to suffer and they should not be | | | | - The question of custody itself is hotly debated by |
| deprived of their basic needs just because the parents | | | | some parents. The case of singer Britney Spears is a |
| have decided they no longer want to live together | | | | case in point. Due to her bouts of binge drinking, erratic |
| anymore. One may decide to stop being a husband or | | | | behaviour, addiction, and tendency to lead an unruly life, |
| wife, but one cannot legally step out of the role of a | | | | her husband has won child custody and is trying to bar |
| father or mother. Therefore, it is only normal that child | | | | her from meeting the child often. Britney does not |
| custody becomes a point of combat among couples | | | | seem to like this but her behaviour really does not |
| ready to divorce. | | | | make a strong testimony for her. |
| What it Involves | | | | - ‘Visitation rights’ is the next bone of contention, |
| What do these battles involve? The ingredients are | | | | and is linked with custody right. How does one decide |
| simple enough – a pair of human beings who had | | | | where a parent’s rights begin or end, how much |
| voluntarily assumed the roles of spouses – and then | | | | time is ‘enough’ for a parent to spend with the |
| the role of parents. The root cause is that they no | | | | children, and how often is it ‘healthy’ for a |
| more want to be spouses, but they want to/ have to | | | | parent and a child to meet? These are difficult |
| be parents still. It is a hard world, and a child is not | | | | questions, and do not always have straight answers. |
| always wanted. In fact, warring partners may feel that | | | | - Finally, a lot of debate happens over who should |
| a child is a burden and may say so as well. If there is a | | | | have the right to take decisions on important matters |
| third party involved, i.e. the future partner of any of the | | | | such as education, holidays, activities, career support, |
| parents, matters can get even more complicated. | | | | healthcare etc. |
| Finally, if there are other children outside the present | | | | How This Affects Children |
| marriage, then the considerations would be affected | | | | Custody battles almost always affect children badly. |
| by that fact as well. | | | | They feel guilty for having caused the furore, and feel |
| Some Common Issues | | | | unwanted. Many children develop personality disorders |
| What do couples fight about? Let us look at some of | | | | and emotional problems. They may also retaliate by |
| the common issues that come up during child custody | | | | giving up on food, not studying and socialising and |
| battles. | | | | becoming depressed. |
| - The most important factor is maintenance. The | | | | Is it Avoidable? |
| existing laws of the UK allow both single and joint | | | | Custody battles are avoidable only if the parents |
| custody. In case of joint custody, the child lives with | | | | choose to be sensible – a piece of advice that |
| both parents, in turn, so the cost of child rearing is | | | | often falls on deaf ears when a couple is separating. |
| shared. In case of single custody, which is much more | | | | How can it be Avoided? |
| common, the child stays with one parent, and the other | | | | Some of the ways in which a child custody battle can |
| is supposed to pay a certain amount for the | | | | be avoided are as follows: |
| maintenance. This amount is usually the greatest point | | | | - The parents may take the help of a third party who |
| of dispute. | | | | is known to both but is neutral, e.g. a common friend or |
| - The next factor is directly related to the above. | | | | a family member or a colleague. |
| Maintenance can be paid as a lump sum at one go, or | | | | - Sometimes, it may help if this third party is an |
| it may be paid in regular intervals. It can also include | | | | unknown person, e.g. a government mediator or a |
| specifications such as the non-custodial parent shall | | | | private counsellor or divorce advisor. |
| pay all tuition fees or medical expenses, or other such | | | | - The parents can go to a lawyer if none of this helps. |