| To transform divorce pain into life wisdom, we need to | | | | exercises to help you do this. |
| understand our divorce drama. One excellent resource | | | | 2. Take a Meeting |
| I highly recommend on this subject is Debbie Ford's | | | | Take a big step back from the drama of your divorce. |
| powerful book, Spiritual Divorce: Divorce as a Catalyst | | | | Realize we are all co-creators of our reality. At some |
| for an Extraordinary Life. The process is simple, | | | | spiritual level, we signed onto this project. It is a |
| unconscious and very powerful. Things happen in our | | | | co-production between ourselves and our former |
| life and we assign meaning to these events in order to | | | | spouses. |
| understand them. So we begin to write the scripts, or | | | | To harvest the wisdom of life's dramas, my mentor, |
| our relationship "story" is born. | | | | Barbara De Angelis, recommends asking "If I ordered |
| We start our screenplays often when we are very | | | | this experience, what was I thinking?" Ask your higher |
| young children. For example, the young girl whose | | | | self what is the lesson you are intended to receive |
| father travels all the time and breaks his promise to be | | | | from this situation? Take the time to ask, and the still |
| at her ballet recital. The script and plotline of "Men don't | | | | quiet voice of your own inner wisdom will start to |
| show up for me" gets rewritten. This takes place at a | | | | answer. |
| subconscious level. So the lifelong casting call goes out | | | | 3. Reconsider Your Director |
| looking for men to play that part again, and again. The | | | | Who is directing your movie right now? Is it a scared |
| plot is played out with new characters, or the same old | | | | little 8-year-old boy or an angry 5-year-old girl who |
| characters in new ways, with you in the starring role. | | | | didn't get her way? If so, it's time to take them out of |
| All the while the 6-year-old girl in her tutu and ballet | | | | the director's chair and assign a bit part instead. To |
| slippers sits in the director's chair. | | | | break free of the divorce drama, your director needs |
| At one level our stories provide security and identity. | | | | to be a grown-up who is ready and willing to create |
| Yet they become a limitation and keep us confined to | | | | the life you deserve to have. |
| a narrow range of what's possible in our lives. Some | | | | 4. Review Your Movie |
| people get so attached to and identified with their | | | | You can use your divorce drama as either an excuse |
| stories they are reluctant to let them go. By | | | | or an inspiration. The next step is to review your |
| recognizing our divorce drama, we can start to write | | | | movie. Would you give it two thumbs up? Is it one |
| new stories. Instead of our movie being a melodrama, | | | | you'd love to see over and over again? So often, |
| we can turn it into an adventure thriller, or a heartfelt | | | | people who stay stuck in their stories use it as an |
| comedy or love story. Here are some ways to break | | | | excuse to blame others, to remain a victim, or to play |
| free of your divorce drama. | | | | small. |
| 1. Read the Script | | | | Does your story stir some anger in you? Great! Use it |
| Stop and identify your relationship story. Who have | | | | to tap into your passion and take action to break a |
| you cast as the villain and the victim? What have you | | | | limiting pattern, or release a situation that doesn't |
| assigned as the motivations of the main characters? | | | | support you? The bottom line is each and every day |
| Write out your plot synopsis in your journal so you can | | | | we write a new script. It can keep us mired in the past, |
| clearly distinguish your story. Knowing your story will | | | | or it can motivate us towards a new future. The |
| help ensure it doesn't remain your default mode of | | | | choice is up to you. |
| operation. Spiritual Divorce has some excellent | | | | |