| Sometimes a little bit of humor can help us put things in | | | | "talk to my lawyer." |
| perspective and relieve a little bit of tension in a given | | | | 4. You think mediation is for pansies and weak-willed |
| situation. Mediation is a great tool to resolve divorce | | | | people. Examples of famous people who easily dispel |
| issues, but it doesn't work in every situation, especially | | | | this fantasy, and who engaged in mediation or |
| in a situation where the parties are set on a particular | | | | negotiation, include Madonna (in her recent divorce), |
| outcome. | | | | and baseball player Alex Rodriguez. |
| With that in mind, I offer you a list of 10 signs why | | | | 5. You think negotiating is a sign of weakness. |
| mediation may not work in your divorce. While some | | | | 6. You think there is only one solution to a problem. |
| of these 10 signs may seem silly, they all contain a | | | | 7. You think "My Way" is a lifestyle and not just one of |
| grain of truth which can make mediation a useless | | | | Frank Sinatra's signature songs. |
| pursuit for the parties. They can reflect a particular | | | | 8. You think "The War of the Roses" is a fictional |
| state of mind that is not really conducive to negotiating | | | | movie. It is a fictional account until you remember a |
| and reaching a divorce settlement agreement. | | | | particularly horrific news item in your local newspaper. |
| I use the second-person singular pronoun, "you" for the | | | | 9. You'd much rather subsidize your lawyer's country |
| purpose of clarity. But "you" can be your spouse, not | | | | club fees than split any assets with your spouse. |
| necessarily you. These are not in any particular order, | | | | 10. You're stuck in the past. Your focal point is not the |
| although the first one is very real. | | | | present or future, with a view to finding solutions. |
| 1. You want to win-no matter what the cost may be. | | | | If none of the above are present in your divorce, or |
| This can be a financial as well as an emotional cost. | | | | are not really pronounced, then perhaps mediation may |
| 2. You and your spouse can't agree on what day it is, | | | | be an available alternative to a contested divorce. For |
| much less sit down to talk civilly with each other. | | | | information on mediation, get a copy of Your Divorce: |
| 3. When you ask each other a question, the answer is | | | | Take Control of the Outcome a free guide. |