| Some couples decide they will try to reach a | | | | The best approach, however, is to acknowledge the |
| settlement before they file for divorce, and engage in | | | | feelings of the distrusting spouse (regardless of |
| mediation only to find they cannot come to any | | | | whether such distrust is justified), and to find objective |
| agreement. Other couples are never able to mediate | | | | references to measure compliance by either party. |
| any issue, and end up with a judgment after months | | | | This allows the distrusting party to trust the process of |
| (sometimes a year or two) in litigation. In between, | | | | mediation instead as well as the enforcement of the |
| there are those who attempt mediation at one point, | | | | resulting agreement, if necessary down the line. This is |
| reach no agreement at first but do so at a later time | | | | so because the other party is not controlling the |
| short of the trial date. | | | | objective reference that will be used to decide |
| What is the difference between them? And, if you | | | | whether he or she has complied with what was |
| want to avoid the emotional and financial impact of | | | | agreed, and thus the distrusting party doesn’t have |
| divorce litigation, how can you tell when you can | | | | to fear being manipulated by someone in whom they |
| benefit from mediating your divorce before filing for | | | | have little or no trust left. |
| divorce at your local courthouse? | | | | Parties who are mutually distrustful and have chosen |
| To answer these two questions, it may help you to | | | | divorce litigation as their first step may still have a |
| determine what degree of trust you and your spouse | | | | chance to mediate a divorce agreement successfully. |
| still have for each other. | | | | This may come after spending months in litigation, with |
| A certain (minimum) degree of trust between parties is | | | | each party tapping and depleting their marital |
| important to any meaningful mediation, but more so in a | | | | resources to fight each other. In this instance, at least in |
| family case because of the emotional ties between | | | | Florida divorce courts, they will have a chance to settle |
| the parties. | | | | before going to trial because Florida courts require all |
| Lack of trust alone can derail any mediation because | | | | parties to go to mediation before trial. In some |
| the party lacking trust in the other will be weary during | | | | instances, these cases settle out of sheer financial |
| mediation negotiations. This can result in either a short | | | | exhausting, so to speak. Of course, there are still those |
| mediation, where the distrusting party ends the | | | | who do not and proceed all the way to trial and final |
| mediation abruptly at the first sign of what he or she | | | | judgment from the judge in their case. |
| may perceive as the other party’s “game.” | | | | Ask yourself where you are in terms of trusting your |
| Or, it can also result in negotiations taking longer. | | | | spouse. Then ask yourself where you think your |
| What’s more, even if a tentative mediation | | | | spouse is in terms of trusting you. The answers here |
| agreement seems to be taking shape, the distrusting | | | | can guide you in deciding when you should go to |
| spouse may doubt that the other will comply with the | | | | mediation. Of course, in a Florida divorce, if you have |
| final agreement, and end mediation just before it | | | | already been ordered to go to mediation and the trial |
| seems like an agreement is a real possibility. | | | | date has been set, there may be little you can do to |
| Depending on what leads to distrust, the passing of a | | | | postpone the mediation. |
| bit of time may sometimes resolve the issue. | | | | |