| When dealing with our emotions, progress is definitely | | | | have done differently in the past. |
| not linear. It's more like one step forward, two steps | | | | Strategies to Use to Heal from Your Divorce |
| back sometimes. One day you're feeling grounded and | | | | 1. Stay Present |
| confident, and then the next you're in pain or sadness... | | | | Be present to what's going on for you in THIS |
| because it's your wedding anniversary or you saw a | | | | moment. Build your awareness of the present moment |
| loving couple on the bus. | | | | by noticing what is going on right now. Ask yourself |
| Here are some common ways we sabotage our | | | | how you are choosing to respond to it. |
| emotional progress and some strategies to effectively | | | | There is no personal power in reliving the past or |
| heal from your separation or divorce. | | | | projecting "what if" scenarios in the future. Your power |
| How to Sabotage Yourself | | | | as the architect of your life lies in what you choose to |
| 1. Judge Yourself | | | | think, do, feel or create in this moment. |
| When you experience a setback, start to judge | | | | 2. Dig for Hidden Treasures |
| yourself harshly. Tell yourself that you should know | | | | Realize that your emotional journey will tend to be |
| better or that you are somehow flawed because | | | | more of a spiral than a straight line. Issues you may |
| you're still feeling stuck in emotional quicksand. Withhold | | | | feel you've already dealt with will often re-surface as |
| love and compassion from yourself. | | | | new emotional setbacks because you are ready for a |
| 2. Compare Yourself to Others | | | | deeper understanding of yourself. Instead of viewing |
| Another great sabotage strategy is to compare your | | | | these setbacks as a lack of progress, see them as |
| progress to other people. Find examples of people | | | | opportunities to discover even more personal wisdom. |
| who appear to be happy and successful and feel | | | | Ask yourself, "What can I learn now from this |
| really jealous. Conclude there is something wrong with | | | | situation?" |
| you that you don't feel the same way. Get impatient | | | | 3. Acknowledge Your Wins |
| and tell yourself you are being "too slow" to get over | | | | Refuel yourself emotionally and spiritually by |
| your relationship breakdown. Disregard any progress | | | | acknowledging your wins. A powerful tool is to journal |
| you've made to date. | | | | at least 10 self-acknowledgements daily. Take the time |
| 3. Relive Negative Mental Movies | | | | to celebrate and acknowledge your progress to date, |
| Identify experiences you've had in your relationship or | | | | whether it's having taken the time to get to the gym or |
| in your life in general that torpedo your self-confidence | | | | reaching out to a friend so you could talk. Stop taking |
| and self-esteem. Play back those scenes in your head | | | | yourself and your progress for granted and be sure to |
| and think about all the things you could have or should | | | | consciously acknowledge yourself. |