Divorce - Your Kids Need You, But You Also Need Yourself

Kids are wonderful little people, especially when they're4. Accept the fact that your ex is a jerk. You wouldn't
asleep. They are easy to care for then, because allbe divorcing if you could trust him. Unfortunately, life
you have to worry about is whether they've kickeddoesn't always work out the way it should. Don't
their blankets off. The rest of the time they aresecond guess yourself with questions about what
awake, and then, they can create a lot of stress.would have happened if you had acted differently.
Kids who are unhappy with their parent's divorce canYour marriage fell apart, but that doesn't mean you
be especially difficult. Not only must a parent cope withare unlovable. It just means you and your spouse didn't
his / her own doubts and fears, they must try tosee life the same way.
manage the situation for their kids so as to make it5. Watch your own health. Eat nutritious food and get
less scary and stressful. It is a bit like the airlinesplenty of exercise. You may feel like neglecting those
warning you to put your own mask on before helpingareas of your life, but what you eat and how you treat
someone else.your body can have a lot to do with how stress
You really could loose your breath while trying to puteffects you.
an oxygen mask on an uncooperative child. Its nearly6. Treat yourself right. Take relaxing bubble baths, or
impossible to meet both of your needs at the samebuy a new pair of shoes. It is too easy to feel
time. These tips may help you and your kids getundeserving of luxury when you've been rejected by
through.someone important. Your heart may not be in it at first,
1. Take the kids for an out of town visit to someonebut if you're nice to yourself, you'll begin to feel worthy
you trust. Grandparents are good. Aunts, uncles oragain.
friends are also good. The whole family might enjoy a7. Don't rush yourself to start dating again. But, join
break from the divorce and its problems, not toclubs, and groups that interest you. Give yourself time
mention your ex.to feel what you've lost. But, don't completely shut the
2. If you can't go, see if you can send the kids byrest of the world out.. Meeting different people and
themselves. It could be calming to spend a week or somaking new friends will help you get your mind off
with your own thoughts. Having a chance to thinkyourself, your spouse and the divorce and its
about your current situation and not have to worrychallenges.
about planning dinner or doing laundry for the wholeThese suggestions may not seem to be about your
family could mean a lot.kids. However, it is like the air plane example I gave
3. Learn a new skill if money is the problem. There areearlier. If you take care of yourself, you will be healthier.
plenty of on-line courses that can teach you what youIf you are healthier, you'll be better able to cope with
need to know to get a decent job. They cost a littleyour kids' adjustment, no matter what the little dears
money, but anything that makes you more employablethrow at you.
is a sound investment.