| One of the hardest jobs of a mediator is to give a | | | | Impatient Party: This is taking too long and is a waste |
| good response to the parties' concerns. After | | | | of time. |
| mediating thousands of cases, I have heard a lot of | | | | Mediator's Response: I know you think this is taking too |
| questions and concerns from the parties. The mediator | | | | long, but we are following a process. Sometimes this |
| has to give a response that informs without alienating | | | | can take time, but it cannot be hurried. |
| one or both parties. Here are some responses that a | | | | Unsatisfied Party: You don't know what you are doing! |
| mediator can make. They are not the only response | | | | Where were you trained? |
| but what I consider a good response. | | | | Mediator's Response: I am doing my best and I am |
| A. Comments Made to the Mediator | | | | always open to suggestions. I am not sure why you |
| Righteous Party: Just decide who is right or wrong | | | | are asking the question, but I am certified by the Florida |
| Mediator's Response: That is not how mediation | | | | Supreme Court in County Mediation and have |
| works. A mediator cannot decide who is right or who | | | | conducted over 6000 mediations. Not all mediations |
| is wrong. In mediation, the parties decide what is right | | | | are going to be successful. It often depends on |
| for them and how they will resolve the case. I only | | | | whether both parties are willing to work on finding a |
| work as a facilitator and I do not weigh the evidence | | | | solution. |
| and determine who should win. | | | | Annoyed Party: You don't understand. |
| Suspicious Party: You are taking his side. | | | | Mediator's Response: Maybe I don't understand. Can |
| Mediator's response: I am by definition a neutral third | | | | you try one more time to explain your position? Maybe |
| party. Sometimes I play the devil's advocate and give | | | | I am missing something. |
| the parties a reality check or suggest different | | | | Party wants to quit: I don't want to continue the |
| alternatives. However, that does not mean I am taking | | | | mediation. |
| sides. | | | | Mediator's response: Mediation is by definition a |
| Uncertain Party: What would you do? | | | | voluntary process and you can decide to discontinue |
| Mediator's Response: Generally I don't like to give my | | | | the mediation at any time. Do you want me try one |
| opinion because it is really the other party's opinion that | | | | more time to see if we can resolve this or do you |
| counts, not mine. However, since you asked me, I | | | | want me to close the case now? |
| would give the other side the benefit of the doubt. | | | | |