| So, you have the dubious pleasure of being involved in | | | | go to trial. Discuss them with your attorney if you have |
| a court case and the judge ordered you to mediation? | | | | one. What is the best possible outcome you could get |
| Even if you have an attorney, he or she may or may | | | | without coming to an agreement? What is the worst |
| not have explained it to you. Well, there are two basic | | | | possible outcome? Most importantly, what is the most |
| questions that people often want to know: what is it, | | | | likely outcome if you don't get an agreement with the |
| and how do you get ready for it? | | | | other party? Knowing your alternatives helps you |
| To start, the judge is not ordering you to sit | | | | make decisions on mediation. If the offer on the table is |
| cross-legged on the floor and say "ohm." That would | | | | not as good as the worst outcome you could get on |
| be meditation, and while that may be beneficial to your | | | | your own, then you probably don't want to take it. If it |
| overall state of mind, it probably won't resolve your | | | | is as good or better than the most likely outcome, then |
| case. Mediation, simply defined, is a confidential | | | | you may want to make a deal. |
| process in which a trained, impartial third party -- the | | | | 5. Be Prepared with Some Options. |
| mediator -- helps two or more parties to a dispute | | | | Be prepared with some proposals going in. Make sure |
| move towards a mutually acceptable agreement. | | | | those proposals take into account the needs and |
| Even more simply put, the mediator's job is to help | | | | interests of the other party. If they don't feel like their |
| people have difficult conversations. What the judge is | | | | needs are getting met too, then they are not going to |
| ordering you to do, therefore, is to sit down with a | | | | take your offer. Nobody likes an agreement that |
| mediator and the other party and try to work things | | | | completely favors the other side. Remember that |
| out. The mediator doesn't get to make any decisions | | | | O.P.T.I.O.N.S stands for "Only Possibilities That Include |
| or tell you what to do. In mediation you decide whether | | | | Others' Needs Succeed." |
| you are going to agree, and if so what your | | | | 6. Be Prepared to Set the Tone |
| agreement will look like. The mediator just helps you | | | | Think about what you are going to say and how you |
| work through it. | | | | are going to say it in a non-threatening manner. Try not |
| The key to a successful outcome in mediation is good | | | | to attack or blame, but to frame the issues as a joint |
| preparation. Below are eight things you can do to get | | | | challenge to resolve together. Even if you truly believe |
| ready. If you have an attorney, have her help you think | | | | the other party is at fault, a combative tone never |
| through them. | | | | makes for productive negotiation. |
| 1. Decide Whether You Want a Settlement or a | | | | 7. Be Creative |
| Resolution. | | | | Don't get set on only one possible outcome. There are |
| Do you want a long-term resolution, or do you just | | | | usually many possible solutions that will meet your |
| want to get the darn case settled? Think about the | | | | needs and the needs of the other party. While not |
| nature of your relationship with the other party. How | | | | always possible, the best outcome is a "win-win" for |
| long have you known each other? What is the nature | | | | both parties. This takes a little bit of creativity. Try to |
| of the relationship? Do you want the relationship to | | | | keep an open mind without compromising your core |
| continue? With there be some form of continuing | | | | values. |
| relationship whether you want it or not? Unfortunately, | | | | 8. Be Realistic |
| sometimes friends, family, neighbors, longtime business | | | | Often, two people will go into court both thinking that |
| associates, etc., sue each other. If your case involves | | | | they are going to win. You know what? One or both |
| one of these, you may want to consider seeking a | | | | of them are wrong, and I can almost guaranty that one |
| more long-lasting resolution. If your case involves a | | | | or both of them will leave a trial unhappy. That is the |
| one-time transaction and you will never see those | | | | nature of our adversarial legal system. Someone has |
| people again, you may just want to get an agreement | | | | to lose. Sometimes everybody does. While it may be |
| for the sake of getting the case out of your hair. | | | | comforting to think that "justice will prevail," our individual |
| 2. Know What it is You Want and Why | | | | conception of justice sometimes doesn't. Remember |
| Decide what you want the outcome of the case to | | | | that a court trial is not about who is right or wrong. It is |
| be. Why do you want that outcome? What is it you | | | | about the law. The judge or jury must decide what |
| really need? Where do you want to be a week from | | | | relief, if any, you are entitled to under the law. Likewise, |
| now? A month from now? A year from now? If you | | | | don't expect mediation to solve all your problems. The |
| don't know what your needs are, you probably won't | | | | mediator can't "make" the other party behave the way |
| meet them. | | | | you want. Just try to get the best outcome you can |
| 3. Make an Educated Guess About What the Other | | | | with available options and resources. |
| Party Wants and Why | | | | Mediation can be stressful and emotional -- you're |
| What is it that the other party says they want? What | | | | talking about some important issues -- but it need not |
| do they really want? Think about what needs they are | | | | be terrifying. If you are prepared, it can be successful |
| trying to meet. | | | | and satisfying. Statistically, the odds are in your favor. |
| 4. Know Your Alternatives | | | | Depending on your jurisdiction, settlement rates usually |
| Identify all the potential ways you could meet your | | | | range between 60-80%. So, be prepared, and good |
| own needs without reaching agreement with the other | | | | luck! |
| party. Think about the possible outcomes if you should | | | | |