| I'm often asked by my clients and the media what my | | | | denial about where you are now. Where are the holes |
| most important tips are for thriving after divorce. Here | | | | in your support system or the gaps in your knowledge |
| are 5 of my Top 10 Tips to help separated and | | | | of how to navigate your divorce? If you need support, |
| divorced individuals thrive after divorce. | | | | ask for it. |
| 1. Make a Choice: Survive or Thrive | | | | 4. What Your Ex Thinks of You is None of Your |
| Getting a divorce ranks right up there among the most | | | | Business |
| painful life experiences. Does getting separated or | | | | Remaining trapped in power struggles or wishing your |
| divorced mean you're doomed to fail in relationship? | | | | ex-spouse will acknowledge your point of view will add |
| Not at all! It's up to you. You can choose to simply | | | | some major potholes on your road to divorce. Realize |
| survive and get through your divorce if you want to. | | | | that what your ex thinks of you is not your concern. |
| Or you can choose to set the bar higher and choose | | | | The degree to which you focus on this robs you of |
| to thrive instead. There is wisdom available to us from | | | | your power. What you think of you and your decisions |
| our divorce process, if we're willing to use the | | | | is what matters. Taking total responsibility for your |
| experience instead of remaining a victim of it. | | | | thoughts, words, and actions will put you in the driver's |
| 2. Get the Facts | | | | seat of your life. |
| It's your responsibility to learn not only what your legal | | | | 5. Keep Your Children out of the Cross-Fire |
| rights and obligations are, but also what your legal | | | | It seems obvious that we, as adults, should do our best |
| options are. Duking it out in court is not the only solution. | | | | to keep children out of the middle of divorcing parents. |
| There are alternatives such as collaborative law, | | | | Sadly there are far too many cases of children who |
| divorce mediation or arbitration. The courts tend to | | | | are caught in the cross-fire. The spectrum ranges |
| view you as a file, not a family. Regardless of the legal | | | | from using children as messengers or spies, forcing |
| route you choose, realize that you must be the | | | | them to declare their loyalties, or even outright parental |
| quarterback and call the shots. If you give a busy | | | | alienation or abduction. Divorce is an issue created by |
| judge with a huge caseload the responsibility for major | | | | adults and children are the innocent bystanders. |
| decisions that will affect you and your family, chances | | | | Imagine a significant milestone in the future, such as |
| are high that nobody will be happy with the final results. | | | | your child's wedding. What kind of memories do you |
| 3. Get Real | | | | want your child to have of that special day? Start |
| Divorce can be an overwhelming and confusing time. | | | | building toward that memory today and keep your |
| It's important you get real with yourself about your | | | | children's best interests in mind. |
| situation. It's difficult to move forward when you're in | | | | |