| Divorce mediation is a process where a couple meet | | | | pays their attorneys fees. In California the attorneys |
| with a mediator. In California, mediators must be | | | | fees are from $200.00 to $600.00 hourly. You can |
| certified and have done training in mediation. Mediators | | | | quickly see how a litigated divorce can cost hundreds |
| can be attorneys, counselors, educators, retired judges | | | | of thousands of dollars. But mediation is not always |
| and many other professionals. The divorce mediator | | | | appropriate. |
| must be neutral and not have a bias for either party. | | | | There are some very specific cases where mediation |
| The mediation can be done with both parties in the | | | | may not be appropriate. One is if the couples do not |
| room and issues are discussed together. If the conflict | | | | have complete honesty and transparency in their |
| level is too high to allow parties to be in the room | | | | finances. When you mediate your divorce you do not |
| mediation can be done with what is called shuttled | | | | go through what is called discovery. The purpose of |
| diplomacy. | | | | discovery is to have all parties know how much each |
| This is where the mediator meets with each party | | | | party makes, what their assets are etc. If you choose |
| separately and then shares this information with the | | | | to mediate but your wife owns her own company and |
| other party. This takes longer but is still effective in | | | | you do not know what assets their are you may not |
| many cases. Let's say the mediation is going smoothly | | | | be wise to mediate. Mediation may also not be |
| but a few issues cannot seem to be agreed upon. | | | | appropriate if there is power differences between the |
| Then the mediator may caucus with each party | | | | parties. Domestic violence is the most severe form of |
| separately to see what needs to be done to obtain an | | | | power differentials. |
| agreement. Mediation is said to be confidential in | | | | If a spouse has physically assaulted the other spouse |
| California and in many other states. This means if | | | | the ability for them to be honest and forthright is |
| there is no agreement obtained by the parties the | | | | doubtful. Sometimes one party is not abusive but really |
| mediator cannot be made to testify to what occurred | | | | controlling and the other spouse is willing to give up |
| in the mediation setting. In research by Dr. Robert | | | | everything to get out of the marriage. If the mediator is |
| Emory mediation was shown to be more effective in | | | | strong enough to neutralize the power differences |
| terms of more positive relationships between the | | | | than mediation could be possible. if you and your |
| parents and the children even twelve years later. His | | | | spouse decide you want to mediate make sure you |
| study used families in high conflict litigation. In mediation | | | | adequately prepare. An issue that is not brought up |
| you pay for one professional in litigation each party | | | | cannot be mediated! |