Parents of Teenage Girls: How to Talk about Teenage Sex

If your daughter is 14 or older, both of your lives will beGirls Give and Boys GetThe concept of just saying
easier if you encourage her to simply say "not yet" tono has put girls in an unwinnable situation. The double
sex rather than trying to get her to forego sexstandard that's been in place for generations carries on
altogether. The message of abstinence hasn't caughtand sex continues to be something that girls give but
on among today's youth, according to Carol Cassell,boys get. Having to say no only perpetuates the myth
former president of the American Association of Sexthat having sex will somehow taint a girl's reputation
Educators, especially when statistics show that nearlywhile allowing boys to continue to pressure girls to
70 percent of unmarried women have had sex by thehave sex whether they're emotionally ready or
time they turn 20.Cassell suggests that it's time parentsnot.Psychologists recommend that teenagers wait until
admitted to their children that sex is a pleasurablethey're out of high school to have sex. High schools
activity and that sexual desires are a normal part ofare closed societies where everyone is ready and
the maturation process. However, she believes thatwilling to judge you, fairly or not. There's also more
children under the age of 16 aren't mature enough todifficulty in getting contraceptives in high school, so
deal with the powerful emotional and physicalthere's an increased chance of pregnancy.For girls
consequences that can result from having sex toowho aren't ready, their first sexual encounter is often
early.A "not yet" philosophy can be helpful for youngan empty, frustrating, somewhat degrading experience.
girls who may be experiencing pressure to have sexThey haven't learned that sex can be a beautiful,
by allowing them to postpone their first encounterfulfilling thing when shared with someone they're
without the associated guilt and feelings of insecurity. Itcomfortable with and with whom they have genuine
allows them to take more control of when they havemutual affection and friendship.The ironic thing is that
sex without having to continually say no until marriageas difficult dealing with teenage sex may be, one out
and lets them wait until they feel more emotionallyof every three married couples still struggles with
ready for their first sexual encounter.If you're themismatched sexual desire. We're all human beings, and
parent of a teenage boy, encourage him toby definition, everything about us is unique, including our
concentrate more on a girl's feelings and emotionssexual desires. However, even if parents have their
rather than on the idea of proving his manhood toown sexual problems to deal with, they owe it to their
himself and his friends. Remind your son that sex is ateenagers to try to give them the emotional tools to
perfectly natural experience, but there are two peopleget through one of the most difficult and frustrating
involved, even if he's only looking to have sex for thetimes they'll ever face.
thrill of it.