| If your daughter is 14 or older, both of your lives will be | | | | Girls Give and Boys GetThe concept of just saying |
| easier if you encourage her to simply say "not yet" to | | | | no has put girls in an unwinnable situation. The double |
| sex rather than trying to get her to forego sex | | | | standard that's been in place for generations carries on |
| altogether. The message of abstinence hasn't caught | | | | and sex continues to be something that girls give but |
| on among today's youth, according to Carol Cassell, | | | | boys get. Having to say no only perpetuates the myth |
| former president of the American Association of Sex | | | | that having sex will somehow taint a girl's reputation |
| Educators, especially when statistics show that nearly | | | | while allowing boys to continue to pressure girls to |
| 70 percent of unmarried women have had sex by the | | | | have sex whether they're emotionally ready or |
| time they turn 20.Cassell suggests that it's time parents | | | | not.Psychologists recommend that teenagers wait until |
| admitted to their children that sex is a pleasurable | | | | they're out of high school to have sex. High schools |
| activity and that sexual desires are a normal part of | | | | are closed societies where everyone is ready and |
| the maturation process. However, she believes that | | | | willing to judge you, fairly or not. There's also more |
| children under the age of 16 aren't mature enough to | | | | difficulty in getting contraceptives in high school, so |
| deal with the powerful emotional and physical | | | | there's an increased chance of pregnancy.For girls |
| consequences that can result from having sex too | | | | who aren't ready, their first sexual encounter is often |
| early.A "not yet" philosophy can be helpful for young | | | | an empty, frustrating, somewhat degrading experience. |
| girls who may be experiencing pressure to have sex | | | | They haven't learned that sex can be a beautiful, |
| by allowing them to postpone their first encounter | | | | fulfilling thing when shared with someone they're |
| without the associated guilt and feelings of insecurity. It | | | | comfortable with and with whom they have genuine |
| allows them to take more control of when they have | | | | mutual affection and friendship.The ironic thing is that |
| sex without having to continually say no until marriage | | | | as difficult dealing with teenage sex may be, one out |
| and lets them wait until they feel more emotionally | | | | of every three married couples still struggles with |
| ready for their first sexual encounter.If you're the | | | | mismatched sexual desire. We're all human beings, and |
| parent of a teenage boy, encourage him to | | | | by definition, everything about us is unique, including our |
| concentrate more on a girl's feelings and emotions | | | | sexual desires. However, even if parents have their |
| rather than on the idea of proving his manhood to | | | | own sexual problems to deal with, they owe it to their |
| himself and his friends. Remind your son that sex is a | | | | teenagers to try to give them the emotional tools to |
| perfectly natural experience, but there are two people | | | | get through one of the most difficult and frustrating |
| involved, even if he's only looking to have sex for the | | | | times they'll ever face. |
| thrill of it. | | | | |