| Should you consider using divorce mediation | | | | |
| when ending your marriage? The following | | | | How Much Does Mediation Cost? |
| article explains some of the benefits of | | | | |
| cooperatively working through the issues of | | | | Mediator fees vary depending on location and |
| divorce by using a divorce mediator. | | | | expertise so call around to make sure you are |
| | | | fully informed. In my own practice the whole |
| Why You Should Consider A Cooperative Divorce | | | | process, on average, takes between 4-7 hours |
| | | | but there is certain homework that must be |
| The divorce process is so complicated most | | | | done prior to working with me. It is |
| people just don't want to deal with it on | | | | important to know the mediator's success rate |
| their own. Traditionally the process of | | | | and how many meetings it usually takes. |
| getting a divorce has involved hiring | | | | Mediation is a tiny fraction of the cost of |
| lawyers, going to court and letting a judge | | | | litigation. In California where the average |
| or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the | | | | cost of a divorce is $20,000 per side, |
| outcome. The couple plays the most passive | | | | mediation will always be less. The financial |
| role in the legal drama. Because the | | | | benefits of mediation are obvious but more |
| decisions are coming from above instead of | | | | importantly, you will be comfortable enough |
| the couple themselves fashioning a result, it | | | | with your spouse to co-parent your children. |
| is often difficult for the couple to | | | | This is the best gift you can give to your |
| comfortably live with the final outcome. | | | | children. I ought to know, I was one of those |
| | | | kids caught in the middle. This is why I do |
| Most people resent solutions that are imposed | | | | what I do. Using mediation instead of |
| on them. It is natural that individuals are | | | | litigation brings some sanity back into the |
| more satisfied when they get to decide for | | | | divorce process because the adversarial |
| themselves instead of being told what to do. | | | | system destroys families. So ask yourself, |
| When the couple is more actively involved in | | | | what kind of divorce do you want? Peaceful |
| creating the terms of their own divorce | | | | divorce is an idea whose time has come. |
| instead of having to put up with the "one | | | | |
| size fits all" solution that the legal | | | | How To Choose A Mediator |
| process gives them, there is a better fit and | | | | |
| more of a commitment to make it work. | | | | So let's assume you want to proceed with |
| | | | mediation. You want to make sure the mediator |
| So here is the most important question, does | | | | you use has a great track record. The most |
| it make sense to avoid the adversarial system | | | | important thing you want to know is how many |
| for your divorce? If keeping out of court and | | | | couples have they worked with and what |
| saving money on legal fees while protecting | | | | percentage settled. Once you find that out |
| your assets and co-parenting relationship | | | | you can compare price, length of time it |
| sounds good to you, then you really ought to | | | | takes and other factors like personality and |
| explore mediation. Mediation is not for | | | | sex of the mediator before you make up your |
| everyone but it is perfect for couples who | | | | mind. The important thing is to have all the |
| are honest and ethical. | | | | information you need to make an informed |
| | | | decision. Remember you only get one chance to |
| What A Mediator Does | | | | have a "good divorce" so don't go down the |
| | | | wrong road because you won't like the |
| The attorney who acts as mediator does not | | | | destination. |
| represent either party but acts as a neutral | | | | |
| facilitator who is a resource for both. The | | | | Is Mediation Right For You |
| couple can ask the attorney/mediator legal | | | | |
| questions and receive help in arriving at all | | | | Divorce mediation works best with honest |
| the terms of their divorce. The mediator | | | | people who are not hiding assets and just |
| drafts the marital settlement agreement, | | | | want a result that is fair. Most couples who |
| which is the document that is attached to the | | | | are in the initial stages of thinking about |
| Judgment. The judge signs the agreement | | | | getting a divorce would do well to meet with |
| without the couple ever going to court and | | | | a divorce mediator as opposed to hiring their |
| the divorce becomes final 6 months from the | | | | own attorneys. You only get one chance at |
| day the initial papers were filed and served. | | | | getting a divorce without acrimony. Once you |
| When the mediator has a powerful intention to | | | | start to go down that adversarial road, it is |
| complete the divorce process instead of | | | | that much harder to get back to a place where |
| dragging it out, the results are miraculous. | | | | you can function comfortably as co-parents. |