Alternative ways to resolve a conflict


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A Formula Of Effective Communication

Why are certain persons more successful thancustomer! It is important to look at the
others in their personal lives and in theirneeds of others as your customer. This
professional environment? Some are perhapsmarketing concept was first used in
very successful at their homes, having goodtransactional settings, but was introduced in
relationships with their spouses andlearning organizations and now has become an
children, but having many communicationimportant concept in all corners of life.The
problems in their office: problems withissue of discovering the interests of others
bosses, but good relationships withhas even been infiltrated by non-scientific
co-workers or vice versa, good relationship'tools' like astrology, numerology and tarot
with the bosses, but conflicts with othercards. Before the discovery of these tools,
managers and subordinates. Others again areone was still utilizing (and still is
having good relationships at the office atutilizing) many scientific tools offered by
the expense of their marriages and familypsychologists ranging from psychoanalysis,
life: too much time is being spent at theconversation analysis, transactional analysis
office and the family at home is being feltand the sort resulting in various therapies
ignored and left behind.The root cause of thewhich might be effective depending on the
problem is communication or to be more exact:willingness of the buyer to take it seriously
effective communication. It is actuallyor not.How can one discover the interests of
surprising that a lot of communication isothers? This requires a proactive approach
going well most of the time. However, if afrom both parties. Two strategies might be
communication problem happens, the question:helpful. The first strategy is called the
what went wrong? Usually remains anPAIR approval strategy: Placate (listen,
unanswered question. There are plenty ofempathize, respond with concern); Attend (to
books, articles and websites dedicated to thethe other); Investigate (circumstances
problems of communication. Some givedetails of issue); Resolve (decide on action
scientific evidence of communication barriersto take). The second strategy is called the
and obstacles, but leave finding practicalfive-step method: listen, respond, decide on
solutions to the reader. More practicallyaction, take action and follow up.DISTURBING
oriented recipes are difficult to implementFACTORSThe third element of effective
due to lack of time and practice. For examplecommunication is probably the most difficult
the trait assertiveness: it has become commonone: how to eliminate disturbing factors or
knowledge that it is important to behow to overcome communication barriers. There
assertive in daily life. But how can one beare basically six types of barriers between
assertive if he or she is introvert bypeople communicating with each other:
nature? On top of personality (extrovertdifferences in perception, incorrect
versus introvert), there is the issue offiltering, language problems, poor listening,
culture: people from certain countries arediffering emotional states, and differing
simply less extrovert than from otherbackgrounds. In order to overcome these
countries.Wouldn't is be extremely useful tobarriers, one must be willing to avoid
have a simple formula of effectiveselective perception, condense messages to
communication which can be used in allthe bare essentials, use specific and
circumstances? I think the following formulaaccurate words possible, always verify your
would  be  helpful:EFFECTIVE  COMMUNICATION=interpretation of what's been said, be aware
of the feelings that arise in yourself and in
SELF-INTEREST + INTEREST OF OTHERS -others as you communicate, and attempt to
DISTUBING FACTORSOREC = SI + IO - DFLet'scontrol them.Communication barriers also
look at the three elements of thisexist within organizations. Although all
formula.SELF-INTERESTWhen people communicate,communication is subject to
self interest is probably the main reason formisunderstandings, business communication is
communication. One is far more interested inparticularly difficult. Barriers can be
his or her own interest than in the interestscaused by: information overload, message
of others. The above formula can actually becomplexity, message competition, differing
simplified even further by simply statingstatus, lack of trust, inadequate
that communication is equal to self-interest.communication structures, incorrect choice of
For this reason, communication is rarelymedium, closed communication climate,
effective because one is not trying to find aunethical communication, inefficient
common ground in interaction processes butcommunication, and physical
merely seeking a way to fulfill certaindistractions.There are three distinct moments
short-term interests. The most importantwhich can cause many communication barriers
problem in communication is probablyin organizations; during negotiations, when
asymmetry. The two parties in question aredealing with customers, and holding meetings.
having different agendas and differentWhen you are negotiating, psychological
interests which is further complicated bybarriers may arise. These psychological
asymmetries of, knowledge, power andbarriers may be yours or may belong to the
authority. For this reason, negotiationother party. Be aware that people carry some
skills and tactics have become a veryof these barriers and 'listen' for their
important trait of modern civilization. Ineffects. Look for signs of them in the other
the old days, physical strength was theparty (and in yourself) and use your
determining factor to force the other partycommunication skills to ease or lower these
to compromise. Thanks to civilization,barriers. Dealing with customers, in turn,
consensus can now be reached bycan be very hard because some customers are
communication. This civilizing process ishard to please and difficult situations can
basically a shift from a "command andarise. If a high level of service is not
control" communication culture to aprovided, the result will not only be loss of
"negotiating and persuasion" culture.Thisbusiness, but often an increase in the number
shift has resulted in a greater emphasis onof difficult and even abusive customers. They
the ability to effectively communicatehave not yet been lost. Deal with them
verbally and non-verbally with each other.professionally. The negotiating process,
This also implies better education in whichfinally, demonstrates a fundamental tension
development of dialogue skills has become thebetween the claiming and creating of value.
backbone of modern education. One is at aValue claimers view negotiations purely as an
young age already required to be able toadversarial process. Each side stride tries
express their thoughts clearly in classto claim as much of a limited pie as possible
presentations, essays, reports and not toby giving the other side as little as
mention in theses of various sorts inpossible. Each party claims value through the
tertiary educational settings.INTEREST OFuse of manipulative tactics, forcible
OTHERSThe interest of others has probablyarguments, limited concessions, and hard
been the most important issue in manybargaining. Value creators, in contrast, call
textbooks about effective communication. Thefor a process which results in joint gains to
ability to listen, to get and give feedback,each party. They try to create additional
to control anger ("anger management"),benefits for each side in the negotiations.
conflict resolution, stress management, etc.,They emphasize shared interests, developing a
have been discussed in great lengths by manycollaborative relationship, and negotiating
authors, scholars, management trainers,in a pleasant and cooperative manner.My name
etc.The problem is accommodating theis Martin Hahn Ph.D. and I am an industrial
interests of others have become moresociologist with more than 20 years
important with the introduction ofexperience in teaching, management
information technology and the ability toconsulting, and corporate training. If you
trade goods and services in cyberspace. Truewant custom-made advice about communication
globalization has probably already occurredin your workplace or with non-job related
in cyberspace where a global 24 hour economypeople, please feel free to contact me at
has been created where everybody isAll requests will be handled professionally
exchanging goods, services and informationand your communication problem will be
all over the world.Everybody has become ahandled in strict confidence.



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