Alternative ways to resolve a conflict


Mediation 101

Divorce is never easy. It has taken a long·  What  does  support  cover?
time for you to make the decision to split
up. And even if you and your spouse are still·  Who  gets  to  stay  in  the house?
on "good terms", you'll still encounter
problems when you attempt to work out the· How will I get my money from the
details of your separation. Rarely is thereproperty  we  own?
equal bargaining power in a marriage. Plus,
it is very difficult to make rational· How will our investments be divided?
decisions when emotions are running high. Few
situations are as emotionally charged as the·  Do  I  have to share my retirement?
end  of  a  relationship.
·  Who  will pay the credit card debt?
Mediation is a voluntary settlement process
which allows you to control your own destiny·  What  about  health  insurance?
rather than leaving your fate up to a judge
who knows nothing about your or your spouse.·  Will the kids get to go to college?
You need never step foot into a courtroom as
all discussions are held in the safety andA skilled and experienced mediator is able to
comfort of the mediator's office. Because ofcreate a safe and cooperative environment
this mediation is far less costly in bothwhich encourages open and honest discussion.
economic and emotional terms. Couples canThe mediator's role is an impartial one,
save up to 90% over a traditional courtroomidentifying issues exploring underlying
battle  by  using  the  mediation  process.interests, suggesting options and balancing
power.
How  it  works:
The mediator is neutral, does not represent
Divorce Mediation is a step by step processeither party and does not make decisions.
through which separating couples arrive at aThey are trained to listen and help both
fair agreement which is acceptable to bothparties stay focused on the task at hand.
parties. It is conducted under the guidanceThere is no need to being "dirty laundry"
of a trained professional who helps theinto the room or the discussions. Mediators
couple to make their own important decisionsencourage the couple to search for a solution
concerning their changing and uncertainto their unique problems and support them
future. The mediator need not be a lawyer. Aonce  a  decision  is  made.
psychologist with some knowledge of divorce
law can be quite effective in dealing with aThe mediation process culminates (usually
couple going through a breakup of theirafter an average of five sessions) in the
marriage.preparation of a Marital Settlement Agreement
which details the specifics of your mutually
The mediator helps you identify the pointsagreed upon decisions. This agreement is the
upon which you already agree and works frombasis  of  the  divorce  decree.
there, with cooperative problem solving, to
work on the issues which are not so easilyA  Final  Note
disposed of. Some examples of typical
questions which come up during the processIt is important to understand that mediation
are:is not the arena for deciding whether or not
to separate or divorce. That should be done
·  Who  will  the  children live with?in the office of a mental health
professional. However, once the decision is
· How much visitation will thereached, mediation can help the separating
non-residential parent enjoy? · Howcouple and their children avoid unnecessary
much  support  will  be  paid?scars and return much sooner to the business
of living.



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