Alternative ways to resolve a conflict


New Jersey's Civil War In Divorce Mediation

The first step in the process of despisingthat all they want is what they are entitled
something is to label it. There are countlessto under the law - nothing more and nothing
mediation models, many of which come withless.
their own labels; such as team mediation,
transformative mediation, etc. Most of these,While facilitative mediators often define
and their practitioners, can be described astheir roles to include facilitating
either facilitative or evaluative incommunication, promoting understanding of the
approach. The ideological debate between theissues, focusing interests and creative
members of these two camps is a heated one,problem-solving, including creative solutions
which, in many cases, has degenerated intooutside the legal normative box, there can be
"I'm  right,  you're  wrong"  thinking.little doubt that most parties want to know
what  the  box  looks  like.
Facilitative mediators such as New Jersey
divorce attorneys may describe their role inEventually, when they hire independent
terms of assisting disputing parties inattorneys to review their MOU, some divorcing
making their own decisions and in evaluatingparties are shown the reality of the shape of
their own situations. Even when thethe box for the first time. At that point,
facilitative mediator is a New Jersey divorcemany are advised by their lawyers that the
lawyer, retainer agreements typically containmediated agreement negotiated outside the box
language to the effect that legal advice andcould leave them with little recourse but to
representation are not part of the mediator'slive  in  one!
job and will not be provided, notwithstanding
the fact that the mediator is a practicingAnother issue, particularly in facilitative
attorney. The agreements often go on tomediation, is the ridiculous amount of time
advise or even insist that the parties retainand expense that can go to waste when there
their own attorneys to consult during theis no way to get across to the delusional
mediation.party that a marriage of 30 years with
grossly disparate incomes, six kids,
From a facilitative mediation perspective,undeniable need and ample ability to pay
the observer should not be able to detectmight just be one requiring permanent
that the mediator is an attorney.alimony.
Interestingly, facilitative mediators who are
attorneys are indeed practicing law when theyIf the mediation breaks down due to one of
are mediating or even discussing the concept,the parties' legally indefensible position,
even if you wouldn't know it by watching themwouldn't that unreasonable party want to know
in  action.  See Ethics Opinions 657 and 676.that Rule 5:3-5 (c)(3), which deals with the
award of attorney fees, clearly provides that
Evaluative mediation, by contrast, includes"the reasonableness and good faith of the
fact-finding and some assessment of howpositions advanced by the parties" is to be
certain facts correspond with the law toconsidered by the court in determining the
yield a likely range of possible outcomes,amount  of  a  fee  award?
should negotiations break down. A breakdown
of the bargaining process would result in theFinding  "the  way"
parties having to resort to their "best
alternative to a negotiated agreement;" whatIn point of fact, neither camp in the
Roger Fisher and William Ury have termed themediation wars has a stranglehold on the "the
"BATNA".way." For guidance, one may turn to an
unlikely source: Miyamoto Musashi's 16th
The parties' BATNA following a failedcentury  classic,  A  Book  of  Five  Rings.
mediation involves either going to court or
to binding arbitration. When an attorneyOne of Japan's most renowned warriors,
mediator taking an evaluative approach failsMusashi's writings are, by his own
to resolve the dispute, the parties can exitdescription, "a guide for men who want to
the mediation with the benefit of thatlearn strategy." Few can argue the merits of
attorney's assessment of the likely range ofstrategy  in  the  mediation  setting.
outcomes litigation would provide.
Non-attorney mediators may not include inMusashi was an advocate of using all weapons
their evaluative methodology any legalat one's disposal. He explained the
analysis, education or advice withoutadvantages of using both the long sword (worn
engaging in the unauthorized practice of law.only out-of-doors) and companion sword (a
shorter sword carried at all times and kept
Members of the facilitative camp are oftenat  the  bedside  during  sleep).
heard to describe the classic role of the
evaluator to include making decisions and"This is a truth: when you sacrifice your
giving opinions with respect to the meritslife, you must make fullest use of your
and likely outcomes of disputes, usingweaponry. It is false not to do so, and to
predetermined criteria to evaluate evidencedie with a weapon yet undrawn." According to
and arguments presented by adverse parties.Musashis Ichi school, you can win with a long
The evaluative mediator's tasks would includeweapon, and yet you can also win with a short
finding facts by properly weighing evidence,weapon. In short, "the way" is the spirit of
judging credibility and allocating burden ofwinning, whatever the weapon and whatever its
proof, determining and applying relevant law,size  -  facilitative  or  evaluative.
rules  or  customs  and rendering an opinion.
Musashi counsels against inflexible
Based upon that initial premise, somepreferences. Addressing the best uses of the
facilitative purists go on to conclude thatcompanion sword, long sword, halberd, spear,
the evaluator's tasks not only divert thebow and gun, he said, "You should not have a
mediator away from facilitation, but canfavorite weapon. To become over-familiar with
compromise neutrality in actuality or in theone weapon is as much a fault as not knowing
parties' eyes by providing an evaluation orit sufficiently well. You should not copy
opinion  of  the  case.others, but use weapons you can handle
properly. It is bad for commanders and
Many argue that evaluation promotestroopers to have likes and dislikes. These
positioning and polarization, which areare  things  you  must  learn  thoroughly."
antithetical to the goals of mediation. In
the evaluative context, some opine, where theThese are words for the ages. In New Jersey
parties go to the mediation anticipating andivorce mediation, our weapons are the tools
evaluation of their case, they are moreor approaches and the enemy is the unresolved
likely to take a positional rather than adispute. Arguments over approach,
collaborative approach to the mediationfacilitative or evaluative, are grist for
process.polarization within our profession. In the
context of alternative dispute resolution,
Criticismsuch  a  debate  is  ironic,  at  best.
Critics of the evaluative approach suggestFor those of us aspiring to Musashi's wisdom
parties are more likely to not fully disclosein plying our trade, achieving the "way" to
their positions in that context, even thoughexcellence  includes:
the information provided in mediation is
clearly confidential and not to be used inThinking  honestly.
subsequent proceedings unless it is otherwise
discoverable. They submit that parties alsoEmbracing  continuous  training.
tend to perceive the lawyers' vs. their own
roles in a "classic light", which someBecoming acquainted with every art and
describe as one where the lawyer is theapproach.
decision-maker controlling the process and
the client is a passive party who does notKnowing the ways of all professions and
participate  in  the decision-making process.disciplines.
Facilitative mediation is not without itsDistinguishing between gain and loss in
shortfalls, despite the fact most mediationworldly  matters.
training under way in New Jersey is currently
based on the facilitative model. Despite theDeveloping intuitive judgment and
urgings of the facilitative mediator thatunderstanding
both parties "lawyer up" during the mediation
phase, many couples opting for mediatedPerceiving those things that cannot easily be
solutions are hoping to avoid or curtailseen.
costly lawyer involvement and won't do so
until the unsigned memorandum ofPaying  attention  even  to  trifles.
understanding (MOU) is delivered. Many
parties tell their mediator at the outsetDoing nothing that is of no use.



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