| Ask most people what it is like to go | | | | taking more of the sales proceeds then |
| through a divorce and chances are you | | | | their clients get to keep. Instead of |
| will hear a litany of horror stories | | | | the children of the divorcing couple |
| about high legal costs, unfair results | | | | getting the benefit of the equity their |
| in court and lawyers who don't care | | | | parents have built, the lawyer's |
| enough about their own clients to return | | | | children are the ones who get to go to |
| phone calls. Splitting up a family and | | | | private school and the children of some |
| the assets that have been accumulated | | | | divorcing couple will be lucky to have |
| during a marriage is probably one of the | | | | lunch money. It doesn't have to be this |
| most emotional transitions a person can | | | | way. |
| go through. Being encouraged by legal | | | | Divorce Mediation is an alternative that |
| counsel to litigate instead of being | | | | allows you to keep control of your own |
| reasonable only exacerbates the bad | | | | life, money and children. Most divorcing |
| feelings between a couple. Because of | | | | couples have a lot to protect and this |
| the high cost of legal assistance, it is | | | | can best be done by working together. |
| more important than ever to make sure | | | | Co-operation saves more than just money. |
| your lawyer has your best interests at | | | | The best gift you can give your children |
| heart and is not taking unnecessary | | | | is to be able to co-parent with your |
| steps so that they can profit by billing | | | | spouse. Instead of a divorce taking |
| more hours to your account. If there are | | | | years of expensive fighting, divorce |
| children involved it is crucial that the | | | | mediation only takes a day or two |
| parents walk away from divorce court | | | | partial days. While it may sound |
| with the ability to co-parent, something | | | | impossible that a total solution can be |
| that is hard to do after a long, bloody | | | | crafted in a 4-7 hour period, I have |
| adversarial process. Finding a lawyer | | | | done it so many times with so many |
| who takes pride in resolving a family | | | | different types of couples, I know it |
| law matter as quickly, inexpensively and | | | | works. |
| with as little blood shed as possible is | | | | The attorney who acts as mediator does |
| unusual. | | | | not represent either party but acts as a |
| Traditionally the process of getting a | | | | neutral facilitator who is a resource |
| divorce has involved hiring lawyers, | | | | for both. The couple can ask the |
| going to court and letting a judge or | | | | attorney/mediator legal questions and |
| the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the | | | | receive help in arriving at all the |
| outcome. The couple plays the most | | | | terms of their divorce. The mediator |
| passive role in the legal drama. Because | | | | drafts the marital settlement agreement, |
| the decisions are coming from above | | | | which is the document that is attached |
| instead of the couple themselves | | | | to the Judgment. The judge signs the |
| fashioning a result, it is often | | | | agreement without the couple ever going |
| difficult for the couple to comfortably | | | | to court and the divorce becomes final 6 |
| live with the final outcome. When the | | | | months from the day the initial papers |
| couple is more actively involved in | | | | were filed and served. When the mediator |
| creating the terms of their own divorce | | | | has a powerful intention to complete the |
| instead of having to put up with the | | | | divorce process instead of dragging it |
| "one size fits all" solution that the | | | | out, the results are miraculous. |
| legal process gives them, there is a | | | | As someone who taught school for many |
| better fit and more of a commitment to | | | | years, has a Masters in Special |
| make it work. Most people resent | | | | Education and worked with extremely |
| solutions that are imposed on them. It | | | | emotionally disturbed children, my |
| is natural that individuals are more | | | | primary interest is to help couples do |
| satisfied when they get to decide for | | | | what is in the best interest of their |
| themselves instead of being told what to | | | | children. It is not in your child's best |
| do. | | | | interest to spend all your money |
| The adversarial approach does not serve | | | | fighting with each other. It is not in |
| the co-parenting process nor is it | | | | their best interest to be caught in the |
| economically efficient. The average | | | | cross fire of their parent's nasty court |
| divorce in California costs $20,000 each | | | | battle. I have a unique ability to help |
| when both sides have attorneys. Of | | | | couples focus on what is really |
| course the price will go up or down | | | | important and get off the positions that |
| depending on how much the couple is | | | | keep them from settling. I do what I |
| encouraged to fight vs. being encouraged | | | | call "Divorce In A Day" by working with |
| to be fair and settle. Divorcing couples | | | | the couple to find each side's bottom |
| can be extremely emotionally vulnerable | | | | line, letting them know what the court |
| and easily manipulated by legal counsel | | | | would probably do, acting as a reality |
| who can be more interested in racking up | | | | check if they have unreasonable |
| a huge bill instead of quickly, fairly | | | | expectations and constantly refocusing |
| and efficiently resolving the matter. | | | | them on what is the most workable |
| While there are many ethical divorce | | | | solution for their situation. I do all |
| lawyers who try their best to protect | | | | the paperwork associated with the |
| their clients, their orientation is | | | | divorce as well as helping the couple |
| still that of a "zealous advocate" which | | | | craft their own solution. |
| means they will do everything in their | | | | Divorce mediation works best with honest |
| power to try to get their clients the | | | | people who are not hiding assets and |
| best deal. This deal often costs more in | | | | just want a result that is fair. Most |
| legal fees than it is worth and usually | | | | couples who are in the initial stages of |
| results in making the couple so angry | | | | thinking about getting a divorce would |
| with each other it is impossible to | | | | do well to meet with a divorce mediator |
| co-parent. | | | | as opposed to hiring their own |
| Most people are unaware that family law | | | | attorneys. You only get one chance at |
| attorneys are the ONLY kinds of lawyers | | | | getting a divorce without acrimony. Once |
| in California whose fees are protected | | | | you start to go down that adversarial |
| by the equity in their client's home. By | | | | road, it is that much harder to get back |
| law they have the right to run up | | | | to a place where you can function |
| enormous fees and then slap a lien on | | | | comfortably as co-parents. |
| the family home and force a sale, often | | | | |