| Ask most people what it is like to go through a divorce | | | | sale, often taking more of the sales proceeds then |
| and chances are you will hear a litany of horror stories | | | | their clients get to keep. Instead of the children of the |
| about high legal costs, unfair results in court and | | | | divorcing couple getting the benefit of the equity their |
| lawyers who don't care enough about their own clients | | | | parents have built, the lawyer's children are the ones |
| to return phone calls. Splitting up a family and the | | | | who get to go to private school and the children of |
| assets that have been accumulated during a marriage | | | | some divorcing couple will be lucky to have lunch |
| is probably one of the most emotional transitions a | | | | money. It doesn't have to be this way. |
| person can go through. Being encouraged by legal | | | | Divorce Mediation is an alternative that allows you to |
| counsel to litigate instead of being reasonable only | | | | keep control of your own life, money and children. |
| exacerbates the bad feelings between a couple. | | | | Most divorcing couples have a lot to protect and this |
| Because of the high cost of legal assistance, it is more | | | | can best be done by working together. Co-operation |
| important than ever to make sure your lawyer has | | | | saves more than just money. The best gift you can |
| your best interests at heart and is not taking | | | | give your children is to be able to co-parent with your |
| unnecessary steps so that they can profit by billing | | | | spouse. Instead of a divorce taking years of |
| more hours to your account. If there are children | | | | expensive fighting, divorce mediation only takes a day |
| involved it is crucial that the parents walk away from | | | | or two partial days. While it may sound impossible that |
| divorce court with the ability to co-parent, something | | | | a total solution can be crafted in a 4-7 hour period, I |
| that is hard to do after a long, bloody adversarial | | | | have done it so many times with so many different |
| process. Finding a lawyer who takes pride in resolving | | | | types of couples, I know it works. |
| a family law matter as quickly, inexpensively and with | | | | The attorney who acts as mediator does not |
| as little blood shed as possible is unusual. | | | | represent either party but acts as a neutral facilitator |
| Traditionally the process of getting a divorce has | | | | who is a resource for both. The couple can ask the |
| involved hiring lawyers, going to court and letting a | | | | attorney/mediator legal questions and receive help in |
| judge or the lawyers decide and/or negotiate the | | | | arriving at all the terms of their divorce. The mediator |
| outcome. The couple plays the most passive role in | | | | drafts the marital settlement agreement, which is the |
| the legal drama. Because the decisions are coming | | | | document that is attached to the Judgment. The judge |
| from above instead of the couple themselves | | | | signs the agreement without the couple ever going to |
| fashioning a result, it is often difficult for the couple to | | | | court and the divorce becomes final 6 months from |
| comfortably live with the final outcome. When the | | | | the day the initial papers were filed and served. When |
| couple is more actively involved in creating the terms | | | | the mediator has a powerful intention to complete the |
| of their own divorce instead of having to put up with | | | | divorce process instead of dragging it out, the results |
| the "one size fits all" solution that the legal process | | | | are miraculous. |
| gives them, there is a better fit and more of a | | | | As someone who taught school for many years, has |
| commitment to make it work. Most people resent | | | | a Masters in Special Education and worked with |
| solutions that are imposed on them. It is natural that | | | | extremely emotionally disturbed children, my primary |
| individuals are more satisfied when they get to decide | | | | interest is to help couples do what is in the best |
| for themselves instead of being told what to do. | | | | interest of their children. It is not in your child's best |
| The adversarial approach does not serve the | | | | interest to spend all your money fighting with each |
| co-parenting process nor is it economically efficient. | | | | other. It is not in their best interest to be caught in the |
| The average divorce in California costs $20,000 each | | | | cross fire of their parent's nasty court battle. I have a |
| when both sides have attorneys. Of course the price | | | | unique ability to help couples focus on what is really |
| will go up or down depending on how much the couple | | | | important and get off the positions that keep them |
| is encouraged to fight vs. being encouraged to be fair | | | | from settling. I do what I call "Divorce In A Day" by |
| and settle. Divorcing couples can be extremely | | | | working with the couple to find each side's bottom line, |
| emotionally vulnerable and easily manipulated by legal | | | | letting them know what the court would probably do, |
| counsel who can be more interested in racking up a | | | | acting as a reality check if they have unreasonable |
| huge bill instead of quickly, fairly and efficiently resolving | | | | expectations and constantly refocusing them on what |
| the matter. While there are many ethical divorce | | | | is the most workable solution for their situation. I do all |
| lawyers who try their best to protect their clients, their | | | | the paperwork associated with the divorce as well as |
| orientation is still that of a "zealous advocate" which | | | | helping the couple craft their own solution. |
| means they will do everything in their power to try to | | | | Divorce mediation works best with honest people who |
| get their clients the best deal. This deal often costs | | | | are not hiding assets and just want a result that is fair. |
| more in legal fees than it is worth and usually results in | | | | Most couples who are in the initial stages of thinking |
| making the couple so angry with each other it is | | | | about getting a divorce would do well to meet with a |
| impossible to co-parent. | | | | divorce mediator as opposed to hiring their own |
| Most people are unaware that family law attorneys | | | | attorneys. You only get one chance at getting a |
| are the ONLY kinds of lawyers in California whose | | | | divorce without acrimony. Once you start to go down |
| fees are protected by the equity in their client's home. | | | | that adversarial road, it is that much harder to get back |
| By law they have the right to run up enormous fees | | | | to a place where you can function comfortably as |
| and then slap a lien on the family home and force a | | | | co-parents. |