Excerpt From The Art Of Managing: Conflict Behavior Styles

Conflict occurs in situations in which people areEach behavior has value, depending on what you need
interdependent, seek different outcomes, favorin a given situation.
different methods to the same end, or perceive othersConflict has value. If you discourage conflict, you will
are interfering with their ability for rewards orhave trouble building good teams. If everyone always
resources. A persons behavior in conflict situations canagrees, we go along and its boring and predictable. But
be described by two basic dimensionsassertivenesswhat if you dont want yelling, screaming and hitting?
and cooperation. Assertiveness is the extent to whichThat kind of conflict scares me. It reminds me of my
the team member attempts to satisfy his ownchildhood. But, when we talk about conflict, we are
concerns. Cooperation is the team members attemptreally talking about our differences. Our differences are
to satisfy the other persons concerns. There are fivewho we are. Knowing that each person is different
specific methods of dealing with conflict using theseallows us to go into a group or team with the
two dimensions: competing, collaborating, compromising,understanding that everyone will have different
avoiding, and accommodating. Each one of us has aopinions and thoughts. But if we think everyone is the
tendency for one or more behavior styles dependingsame, we will be really disappointed and hurt when
on the situation.someone differs from us.
When teams form, there will be conflict. Any timeWe each have the responsibility to be aware of the
there is more than one person, you will have conflict.differences and uniqueness in each of us. Conflict is
How do you handle conflict?good. Be open to differences. Until each of us can say,
Understanding the style with which you areTell me what you think; let me hear what you think;
comfortable is important when you are dealing withand, why do you believe what you think, then the
conflict with one person or in a group. For example, ifconflict will continue to be competing. Using inquiry and
avoidance is how you deal with conflict, when it arises,questions to find out more about the other person will
you will shrink back, saying to yourself, I dont want togive us understanding and compassion.
do this. Your thoughts might go like, Its bad enoughTeams that have a good understanding of conflict
when it happens with my spouse, but I dont have to domanagement work effectively and learn to trust
it in my job.others. These people work together effectively in
Keep in mind that there are times when every one ofother subgroups, are more task oriented, demonstrate
these behaviors will appear in each of us. For example,increased satisfaction, and work toward better
we would not have sports without competitivedecisions. The Art of ManagingHow to Build a Better
conflictfootball, baseball, basketball, hockey, golf. PeopleWorkplace and Relationships helps you define your
get a charge out of this type of win/lose competition.behavior in conflict situations.